So now we’re supposed to get dressed up and try hard? Fuck that.

Those neighbors are awfully righteous for people whose fences are made out of dildos.

Well, he’ll always have the job at the gay bar to fall back on

M5 six-speed manual, M5 LSD in back, and even an M5 guibo... M5 exhaust, M5 fuel system, M5 clutch, M5 Cooling system...

Finally a Gray dong on Deadspin that doesn’t involve Ben Roethlisberger.

Today the Great Salt Lake is even saltier.

Coaches were at a loss to explain whose fault the play was, since the players are all nice boys from good families.

November 8, 2016. It was a Tuesday.

Liberal garbage written by establishment elites.

This fucking dipshit is an approved commenter, and I’m not.

LeBron’s value is probably equal to the value of one whole NBA franchise.

If he’s underpaid, Lebron is an indentured servant.

“When I break you, we’ll see,” is a strange retort, but okay.

Wait, shouldn’t the tour apologize for clinging to the sexist vestige of “podium girls?”

I believe the new appropriate response is “I was scared for my life!!!!”

He’ll respawn at the hospital in a few anyway.

Someone should inform the Monster video editing team that drinking their product on the job is frowned upon. Holy spastic jump cuts.

Heckler: (heckles)

Every year, Nabisco makes my list of “Dumbest Companies” for not offering an option for me just to buy the cookie portion of Oreos.