We are now at the point where I look at both of those guys and seriously think, “You know what? That doesn’t sound so bad!”

“Camry Dents never go away; they just become more expensive until the car itself is just one giant dent, forsaken and uninsurable.”

So people came all the way from Europe where they have actual free healthcare........ to get fre healthcare. Right. I’ve got some beachfront property in Oklahoma you’d absolutely love

Tennis ball hitter, bullshitter, sperm lottery winner.

“My gosh, Tucker, when are they gonna let that go? It’s been going on for nearly a year. Frankly, it’s kinda getting absurd. There’s nothing there. We’ve heard time that time and time again. We’ve heard that in the testimonies earlier this week. We’ve heard it in the last 11 months. There is no there there. It’s time…

You like the Big Bang Theory don’t you.

Still the best baseball Dog

No, I don’t, because it wasn’t funny at all. #Lame

When the Craigslist ad for “Hot Asian Threesome” turns out to be embellished.

Old Style is actually pretty expensive to import, as transporters have to adhere to Subtitle C of RCRA.

Is there currently some flooding happening in the Edmonton area?

Of course Jean-Ralphio went on to marry the inventor of Spanx and become a minority owner of a mediocre NBA team.

As usual, xkcd has already addressed this:

“banged one in with his off-hand”...

“Enjoy the good days. Get through the bad. Kiss your family. Have a blast. And is anyone going toward Vandergrift tonight? I could use a ride. I got no gas or grass, but uh, we can work something out.”

Hey now. Yuengling and PBR are actually decent cheap beers. I say this despite the fact I can’t drink Yuengling since learning of the owners’ delightful politics and I can’t drink PBR as I have a genetic mustache and fedora deficiency

Might as well make a buck off of suckers.