Oh good, I thought there might be no one here justifying fucking a shark’s corpse. Crisis averted.

Thank you for pointing out sharks have no concept of Twitter, that was needed

More and more customers want to rent SUVs instead of the dinky cars usually associated with rental fleets

Don’t worry, it’s all gonna work out for Hertz...

“Medicare for All” is such a beautiful, simple, and compelling message. And, when Republicans start in with “well, who’s going to pay for it?” just pull a page out of their playbook and make some shit up: “We’ll cut taxes on millionaires and corporations, and the resultant economic growth will more than pay for this…

Rick Perry will solve this, just as soon as he looks up “plutonium” on Wikipedia.

BRB, going to GameStop to buy a used copy of one of those Burger King games for the Xbox 360.

Well, at least its thematically consistent.

The US has a long, sordid history of “rugged individualism” that is mostly bullshit. Politicians appeal to that idea and get people to go against their own best interests so the politicians can funnel money to their buddies instead of building a society.

The only thing I know about crampons is that I get really embarrassed buying them for my wife when she sends me to the store.

Back in college, Greg Oden would win these races all by himself.

These are all reasons why it would be fine to listen to someone who had played 20-40 hours.

700 hours is still a lot of time for a human being to spend doing something they ultimately deem subpar. Masochism aside, I just don’t get it.

Why should he need insurance? He hasn’t been a threat to anyone driving in 5 years.

Remember: this guy has been a guest of Alex Jones’ Infowars a few times.

The last honk concert I went to was Florida Georgia Line.

It was later discovered that he had only bought the organization so that he could hold a “Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just a Rat In a Cage Match”.

You forgot to punctuate your post with “wake up, sheeple”

The sins of the father are not the sins of the son. We should shower him. With praise.

Now imagine how much fun you could be having in the weekly Grantland pick-up game. Wait, you do like making fun of fat chicks too, right?