This is the correct answer. It seems like it never fully comes off of any surface. If you happen to drop a glass bottle of it you get, at no extra charge, a million shards of glass to go along with it!

Amen. Also, let us not forget that magical ninja kick to the nuts on Matt Schaub. The guy is a grade a fuckface.

Sportsmobile for the win! Those things are burly with a capital B. As in bitch git out ma way!

And somebody who snowboards in Aspen. Aspen is literally the worst. People who had ponies as children ski/board Aspen. But CrossFitters can suck it.

Really trying to work that golf angle eh?

Moar hockeyz!

An inoperable vehicle in Denver must be stored in a garage. Nobody follows this rule, but it exists. You are also only allowed two vehicles on the property per registered driver in the city. These rules are effectively in place to prevent you from operating a shop out of your home, which as a homeowner I can…

Why is Patrick trying to make dank happen? That word is reserved for people that are too high to come up with better adjectives.

Stop it. As someone from Colorado, the dankness needs to end. Unless you are describing a fucking cellar, that shit ain’t dank.

So they’re developing autonomous Zambonis?

My man Stephen Tulloch recognizes that move:

Came here for the obligatory unfunny foot joke... am leaving satisfied.

Ugly?

Every time you guys bust out “dank”, this is all I’m seeing:

I said it yesterday and I’ll say it again today. These guys play music that sounds like it was written for Taylor Swift.

This Struts hoopla is just not working for me. Their songs sound like they were written by Taylor Swift.

I have been waiting for an Avs uniform update for years. I actually think if they just move to the new alternate and something like the stadium series jersey while phasing out the current style then they’d be in good shape. Here’s hoping!

Wait, doesn’t Ellen DeGeneres already have a show?

Wait, they have a good NFL commentator pairing?