yet another confirmation on why there’s no such thing as a legit conservative comic.  These people have zero grasp of how comedy works. 

Absolutely.  I desperately want a female POC in this role, to be the absolute badass counterpart to the scumbag racists in the GOP.  Barbara Lee would be absolutely perfect in that role.  It’s about goddamn time we get someone who isn’t fucking Charlie Brown to the GOP’s Lucy.  Instead of constantly having the…

Wait, are they Beetlejuice now?  That would make total sense.

You had me already at, “fuck off, go wear a pussy hat to Starbucks.”

Well, who could have imagined that would happen?  It's not like there's 30+ years of overwhelming objective evidence proving trickle down economics is a complete scam or anything. For fucksakes, the rubes who buy this shit deserve all the pain they get. 

I’d also like to see her broke and homeless, and her and her shit-ass parents sent back to the shithole country from which they illegally came.

I was going to go with feckless cunt, but yours works too.

Because nothing says happy like one in the stink and two in the pink.

I’ll believe it when I see it.  I’ve been hearing this “Texas is purple” nonsense for 20 years now.  Believing it will ever go Democrat is an absolute pipe dream.

So this fucking moron voted for Bumblefuck McMushroomdick and he expects people to support him for President?  I don’t care if he is a vet.  Just based on his decision to elect Dolt45 alone means I wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire.

Trust me. It most definitely is going to be a massacre. Those knuckle draggers he’s sent to the border are going to absolutely murder innocent women and children and cause an international disaster.  Hopefully it leads to a united Europe and South America invading us. We are well past the point where I’d welcome…

To be fair, that would be the first thing I’d actually support him on.  Can we just put them both in the next Tesla Elon Musk launches into space?

Those lessons won’t be in history textbooks in the US though, since Texas basically determines what information does and does not get included in public school textbooks for basically the entire country.

Poor little snowflake.  What’s the matter, did Snoop increase your already precarious economic anxiety?

between caffeine, nicotine, alchohol, and THC, I’ve ingested enough to power a small city since Bumblefuck McMushroomdick took office.  I’m not sure my body and mind are going to make to the end of this nightmare.

Except that you’re also conveniently ignoring the fact that all new congress members start working immediately after the election.  They have to set up staffs, offices, begin to review legislation, regulation, committee issues, etc.  They just don’t get to take a salary until officially sworn in, but they are most…

Or we can just give them all free cell phones secretly embedded with a virus that will trigger them to kill each other, like in the Kingsmen. Yeah, I’m going with that one right now. I’m done acknowledging racists and nationalists as being remotely human. They are basically the dogshit I have to scrape off my shoe…

Oh my god.  That is an amazing call!  I’m totally stealing that one if you don’t mind.

She can’t be Golem.  Both his eyes faced the same direction.  

I have fully gotten to the point where I just want to see Trump and every person associated with his administration dead and in an unmarked mass grave.