“I want to thank my father for giving me this blade.”

I had no idea that being the Five Below version of Jay Z qualified you as a “genius.”  Good to know.

“they’re trying to control our mind.”

You’re just now realizing this? Getting famous because solely because someone pissed on her in a sex tape wasn’t a clue?

Go fuck yourself you pompous twit. The flag is a symbol of the country, NOT the military. For me personally, I also don’t feel the need to honor the fucking military anyway. They signed up to do a job. They are paid for that job. That job does NOTHING to improve my life in any way, shape or form, regardless of…

preferably looking like this:

Well, the first think to do to protect your kids is not let them play football.  Even when I was in HS in the early 90s the football players always did weird homoerotic hazing shit to each CONSTANTLY.  It’s beyond bizarre.

I think the most important part of her lie to point out is her claiming to be a person. She’s not. She’s a mail order, animatronic sex doll with a shitty accent. Basically, she’s the Dollar General version of a Replicant.

Come to think of it, that scene might be the only time in my life I didn’t cringe at that song. However, I did go see Skynyrd live once. The ticket was free and I couldn’t pass up the chance to fuck with an endless amount of drunken mouth-breathers. And true to form they did not disappoint. I doubt I really heard one…

Thank you!  That fucking solo is completely exhausting in its repetitiousness.  God I hate Skynyrd.  

What’s the matter, did I hit to close to home? It’s not remotely cliched when everything I said is true. The only things worth shit in that place are Ohiopyle and Falling Water. But the people are nothing but backwoods, racist assholes. Just like pretty much all of Pennsylvania outside of Allegheny and Philadelphia…

Damon, you forgot to note that not only is Connellsville almost completely white, it is FUCKING FAYETTE COUNTY! Those folks down there make the yokels in Deliverance seem like enlightened Rhodes Scholars. If you drew up a caricature of the worst elements of a Trump supporter, it would be a spitting image of nearly…

Quick, someone get the big dark sunglasses and rouge ready to cover up the fresh marks on the faces of the abused spouses we call “Democrats.”

You honestly think he still has fans?

That might not be a bad thing.

No, it’d STILL be funny if someone died, because it most likely would have been due to the unnecessary panic of these asshats.  And for me, that’s just called “Thinning the Herd.”

dammit I love the absurdity of 80s entertainment like this. I now need to find Over the Top streaming somewhere to watch this weekend. Haven’t seen it in probably 15 years. This one is up there with Roadhouse for me. Sheer awesomeness!

“...after a long and bloody civil war...”

Holy shit.  I almost choked on this one I laughed so hard!

Excellent call.