That’s only a version made special for the US. Real Kinder eggs, as they are known in the rest of the world, are still banned here because the FDA won’t allow non-edible items inside food items. It’s ridiculous. And yet, somehow those stupid ass King Cakes are still a thing, where you can choke on a dumb plastic baby.…

Ben’s head is also basically a marshmallow.

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with anything this kid has done.”

On a side note--Is it just me or does that picture of the baby on the main page for this article look like Drew Magary’s own baby pic?

I don’t know.  It does have kind of a nice tanginess to it.

which is why I really dislike anything to do with Indian culture. Especially the shitty looking food that gives you explosive diarrhea.

Yep.  Most of this wall wouldn’t even be able to be started until well after Trump was out of office.

I cannot emphasize enough how much I love this.  

If it happens, I will admit I might be torn between hunkering down for the night, or jumping at the opportunity to take out some Trump voters.

They do remind of the shit we would write on any friend’s face with a Sharpie who was guilty of passing out at a party with their shoes on (they knew the rule ahead of time.) The only thing missing is the dick and balls that would ultimately be drawn on a forehead.

I think you have a very loose grasp on the definition of “artist.” Mumbling into a computer microphone over contrived noises for an internet music service is not art.  I know I’m old, but I lived through the golden age of hip hop.  This shit on Soundcloud doesn’t even come close.  For fucksakes they aren’t even…

I 100% agree that we’re seeing a repeat of Gen X apathy, as it appears to be the cycle following an insanely selfish generation (Millenials and Boomers are both awful, but at least the Millenials are not hell bent on fucking up the country every waking moment for the better part of 50 fucking years—please die already…

It’s not hard to manipulate people who, if it weren’t for modern medicine, should have probably died in infancy out of their sheer stupidity.

I need to get on writing it.

Having been to Columbus several times, this guy is definitely the norm for white people there. And his tears are absolutely delicious!

you had me at “jaundiced tomato.” That shit is pure gold, which is coincidentally the same color as the liquid streaming onto the beds at Captain Pissy Pants’ Moscow Hooker Hotel Soiree.

Did anybody think to call Scooby and the Gang?  Because this seems like a case that just screams for the Mystery Machine to roll in.

God I hope this asshole chokes on a Quarter Pounder soon.

And the lack of Facebook too.  Between the shit I said as a teenager, and the shit I did that could have been captured on a phone camera and posted to the internet, I thank fucking god all the time neither thing existed in my teens and early 20's.  

It’s just the grammatic anxiety they have.