Thanks, Landon.

He needs to invent a good TD dance for a pick six. Already got the name lined up.

Stupid question that's already been answered by Gawker properties: I have to open a non-burner account to get followed and not be in the grey, right?

Everything about this game was wonderful.

Definitely try it: pickled okra in the bloody is really fucking good (as is pickled okra, generally). Back when I lived in NYC (left in 2010) I asked for some at the usual brunch spot and just got funny looks. Couldn't find it anywhere at the store, either, which sucked.

Seriously. Flipped on the tv while making a snack and thought it was a joke at first. Then just wanted to throw the tv through the window.

Why in the f are they driving around w/ a pound of shit?

It's weed, so I'm taking the over.

Unclear - something was on it, apparently. Think they're still fighting about it but not sure.

That is some fucked up shit. She needs to get the video from the in-store cameras.

That's what my parents did. Busted when we snuck to my house (which was right by school) during lunch, which was supposed to be empty...mom came back for something she forgot. F'ing scarring - in a good way: exceptionally clear memory, but makes me laugh now. Not half as bad as getting caught masturbating. Shudder.

I can't wait until they add horsemeat over here, if it makes you feel any better.

It is: just takes awhile to cook right.

Isn't that the best reason for living in Alaska, as a general matter?

There is a paper trail, which is the best (and by best, I mean perversely hilarious) part about the whole thing. They just do not give a fuck.

During the WC group drawing for the '94 cup, Robin Williams kept calling him "Mr. Bladder," which cracked my 13 year old self up to no end. Blatter is the worst.

I've read the whole thing cover to cover. Multiple times. Please elaborate. Are you operating from the position that it is the Only True Word Of God(tm)? If so, which dogma are you subscribing to? B/c it's pretty f'ing easy to cherry pick just about any line to support any point...

Uh-oh. I'm late, for a very important date...

First pitch still better than that dye job.

The reason I mention the college is b/c I think it's relevant to showing school don't get the crazy out.