I say it with 100% certainty. The so called doping battle is utterly lost, so learn to live with it.

*amateur sports

Whoever had “four” in the “Number of different ways the swimmer’s name can be spelled in one article” pool, please collect your winnings.

Well I for ONE stand READY to issue a MARITAL DIAGNOSIS based on those EXCERPTS

Also****

I mean, he certainly LOOKS like an unrepentant dickweed.

How can you type with your old Livestrong bracelet cutting circulation off to your hand?

I scared my boyfriend a few weeks ago when I picked up a pillow and started whacking the couch with it. It wasn’t an uncontrollable reaction to rage, I was just really frustrated about something (not someone...I had tried to do something but it didn’t work and I wasted a bunch of time that I didn’t have to spare) and…

Not a single swimmer or a single track & field athlete who wins a medal in Rio will have done so without having doped in some way. It is physically impossible.

“I Dont Want To Lift Weights and Get Bulky” says every large and out of shape girl in the known universe.

Lol. Red flags??? Did you see his chains???

Clearly labeled.

That might be true. It just seems so absurd that people actually believe Hillary Clinton would be in the same position she is currently in if she hadn’t been First Lady. They think it’s just a coincidence that the likely first ever female President also happens to be the wife of a former President?

Can we agree that it’s unlikely Hillary Clinton would have been a Senator or Secretary of State if she wasn’t married to Bill?

.

it is a terrible movie that we should love approximately zero, and yet I cannot find it in myself to hate it.

Too bad NBC didn’t have a graphic that illustrated just how impressive she was, oh wait, they did in the form of a yellow line.

Seriously, biggest jump since the East Germans. But it's because she, uh, practices harder because, uh, she lives in a democracy! Go Coca Cola!

It’s breathtaking.

It helps to remember they were going uphill and he kept this up for 20 seconds while they were on a bike for 5 and a half hours at this point.

...is he screaming “forza Italia”?