“Can I see your Idaho state license?”

This tweet was shared on NASCAR’s Facebook page today, and there was a whole lineup of people commenting on how many banana and mayo sandwiches they ate growing up in the south. There seemed to be a consensus that Dale Jr. is doing it wrong by using Hellman’s though. He should have used Duke’s. (But Hellman’s is his…

Once, I was leaving the local high school’s track after running an interval workout. This old lady was sitting on a bench outside the track. As I was walking by her, she said “You’re already thin enough! You can quit jogging!” I told her I wasn’t trying to get thinner, I was trying to get faster, but she completely…

I love Johnathan Schaech in That Thing You Do! (love the entire movie and perfect cast, really) but every time I see his name I think of my parents’ issue of Newsweek magazine proclaiming him “the next big thing” in movies in like 1995, and I get sad for him. That same issue also named Belly as “the next big thing” in…

Also, when the camera panned to her during his acceptance speech, she had this adoring fangirl look on her face, watching him, totally rapt... and when the camera panned to him during her speech for best tour, he could not have looked more bored, like he was watching the FBI copyright warning on a VHS tape. I don’t…

My grocery store (a Walmart Supercenter) seems to move everything on a weekly basis. I was wondering what the hell was the point, but I think you nailed it. I hate it so much! I buy just about the exact same things every time. The near constant rearranging only serves to irritate the shit out of me by wasting my time.…

Ugh. “Frank Sinatra Has a Cold” is the only piece I remember being held up in class in j-school as an example of great reporting (I’m sure there were others, but this is the only one that sticks in my memory.) Very disappointed to find out the writer is an old coot who would make such a boring generalization about…

Once, on a family vacation, my cousin ate so many Bedrock Berry (blueberry-flavored) Push-Ups in one sitting he produced a huge blue turd. Since he was 5, he promptly freaked the fuck out and started crying for his mom. Of course everyone came running to see the blue turd. The kids (I was 6) were terrified; the adults…

I wore those exact shoes to both of my proms in 2000 and 2001!

A friend of mine had an Irish wolfhound. He was the happiest dog ever, which was awesome, except that meant he was forever wagging his giant rope of a tail! Lots of bruises on uncovered legs, lots of small and not-so-small objects swept away from tabletops haha.

Damn, I wish I’d thought of this — the first townhouse we rented together was on Easy Street. We could be Mr and Mrs Easy right now. DAMN.

I once dated a guy who refused to go to the convenience inside the hotel in which we were staying to check to see if they even HAD tampons. I wasn’t asking him to touch them, just see if they’re there, so I know if it’s worth the trouble of stuffing toilet paper in my underwear to go down there and buy them. He…

I agree running generally costs a lot more than just the price of a decent pair of shoes. One suggestion though — if you’re going through earbuds so quickly, try the Bose SoundSport earphones. They’re pricey but you shouldn’t ever have to buy another pair. They also sound incredible. Mine are two and a half years old…

I was pretty excited about all-day McD’s breakfast until I found out there were muffin states and biscuit states... and I live in a muffin state. No sausage biscuits after 10:30 a.m.? Never mind.

This is such a great idea! I was lucky to grow up in a family that could afford pads/tampons, so that wasn’t a problem. But, like many girls, I had a pretty erratic period at first. The first year — my first year in middle school — was definitely the worst; there were times I had to miss school because of the…