This is pretty rich coming from Thomas

Natalie Portman gangster-rapping will never get old for me. Ever. But I was still holding out some hope Vanessa Bayer would come back for one more Totinos spot this year. The lack of her not feeding her hungry guys was definitely felt.

So edgy! Take so hot!

Jason Whitlock was never good at football.

He was a really good player who deserves the HOF. He is also the most insufferable buffoon this side of Trump.  

It just kills you, doesn’t it?

Jesus Christ, just thinking about how Ray Lewis is going to bloviate, pontificate, and generally make a giant ass of himself in his speech is going to keep Deadspin rolling in takes for weeks. Can’t wait.

It’s really not that much stuff... Maybe have a day pack for when you travel? But okay, since you’re going to be that guy, here’s what I recommend for the bare minimum:

That man, while in the wrong and should be punished, is a god damn hero and it’s too bad he didn’t make it five feet further.

I watched the clip and it quite honestly brought tears to my eyes. His horror and rage and frustration was so damn raw. I just can’t even imagine how he feels.

The shocking thing is how much it resembles the acceptance speech from last year’s AKC Best in Show.

“I will knock you the fuck out”

Where else is a ninja supposed to be?

Tibia honest, it was the ankle that was his Achilles heel

He was just trying to be humerus.

This man was seriously injured, can’t we give the puns a break for once?

username checks out

I put a lot of thought in before I decide whether I’m going to look at images like this—don’t want to make a snap decision.

I love going out solo. I also hate manufacturing conversation with most people. It’s a win-win.