How did this man not possess the forearm strength to lift himself out of this predictament.

Look at that Gator just fucking strutting along like, “Check this out, assholes. This is my fish. You got a fish like this? Didn’t fucking think so.”

Basically, Buster Bluth running to try to get injured to avoid going into the Army:

Rematch in a steel cage.

If it is fight or flight the penguins have only one option...

Boat load of talent on that kid. Too soon?

This guy definitely walks away from explosions without looking back.

I’m the opposite; if you put your signal on, I’ll let you in (if it’s a legal merge/lane change) but if I can tell that you want to get over, but are unwilling to signal, I close that gap up tight.

Every day when I drive to work, I realize that one out of two people I see think it’s OK to be lied to by a low IQ, hypocritical sex monster who spends most of his days being a dick and putting ketchup on his meat. And that’s why I drink...

The people’s eyebrows, if you will.

In my mind, David Oyelowo is looking at Kimmel to see if he pulled this fuck shit- because that’s one of the many thoughts that rushed through my mind when all this was going down.

This is going to give me life for months. Months!

Find yourself someone who looks at you like Lin Manuel Miranda looks at everybody.

It’s clear the Kings only have to move up one space.

+1

Given his numbers you might say that Bishop going to the Kings is a lateral move, but I’m pretty sure when it comes to Bishop it can only be diagonal.

Houseplants make oxygen. They don’t use it.

Are you having a stroke?

Blame the Chinese. I’ve been told it’s the result of one of their conspiracies.

Reasons to not move to Texas: