Jimmy Graham: Ugh, I am not in the mood to answer questions about this all day.

Eh, I've not tipped before. I'm sorry I don't feel tipping is mandatory, you are in the service industry, if you give bad service I give a bad tip.

I screencap it for my blog then go weep into my ice cream as I Google Cat Lady Starter Kits because that's obviously the direction my life is going if these are my only choices.

Pissing contest? Please, I have a whole blog dedicated to how Online Dating Is Literally The Worst.

#washingtonwouldhavewalked

As Germany should know, the US doesn't let a little water stop them from advancing.

Tim Lincecum: Possibly part cat.

"How can we cut off this chicken's tits differently?"

I was once on an escalator going down to a DC Metro station when some guy slid by me and a pack of people on the hand rail, and said "Out of the way bitches" as he passed. When I got to the bottom of the escalator the dude had his shin bone poking out of his leg. That was satisfying.

Why do people insist on doing completely idiotic things such as watching a scoreless Jets v. Bills game?

It's no surprise the Buffalo Bills fan failed to make it over the hump on 4 consecutive attempts.

Cards fan here. Been to Miller Park once and known a few other Brewers fans before.

I played lacrosse (poorly) in high school for a couple of years. Our team wasn't good, but what we lacked in skill we made up for with jock-strap related pranks.

A friend of mine was born without his right hand. He has a small "nub" instead. When he was young, he used a prosthetic hand that he didn't like very much. We were on a soccer team for 6 and 7 year olds, and during one game he was using his prosthetic hand (and had had it on all day) when it became uncomfortable. So…

They have to buy a new Crosby jersey every season after they stained their old one with tears during the playoffs.

100 bucks says he owns three gold chains and drives a Camaro z28

I thought about going this route but decided instead to add some USB ports to my headboard.

That looks really sick and works well with the rest of the entertainment center.