It’s not a big deal. A black bar in a photo just means you have 72 hours to find and kill all of your blood relatives or Lizzie rises from the grave to drag you, screaming, into Hell.

Chelsea Peretti’s right: “awkward” for some seems lazy tweet shorthand for “Opps, sober today, wtf is everything?”

We exist, oh we exist.

I also think the babies comment is one of those realizations you have when you realize that living your life is not all about you, you know? Like there are bigger things coming after the moment that you are in that are going to be so much more.

but the main thing is: how is this our business?

Handjobs are the Macklemore of sexual favors.

That’s a fucking beautiful hunk of wiener meat, not gonna lie.

I’m a fairly straight guy, but whenever I see Zac Efron, I always have to mumble, “this guy, this guy keeps on getting better looking. I should probably stop drinking so many beers.”

I don’t understand this.

I laughed. And she didn’t say she eats fast food every day.

No, she’s just funny. I particularly loved her response on Twitter to People praising John Legend for making her dinner.

YOU ARE ALONE

I believe he also once inserted a Patrick Bateman reference on KUWTK. He owns that, for some reason.

Hawaii was the first season I watched so it holds a very special place in my heart. After that I think it would be New Orleans. The shows were starting to get incredibly shallow at that point but there were still great tv moments being shared with young adults. Alcoholism, coming to terms with a religious upbringing…

“Hon, ya gotta stop stabbin’ him.”

I was hoping to see more momentum for The Big Short. I really enjoyed it, it was well-written and acted, and it felt original. It definitely at least should have won the globe for best comedy over The Martian (which absolutely shouldn’t have been in that category).

Nothing for Fargo?

I’m always getting side eye at target but that’s mostly because my cart is always overflowing with toilet paper. I refuse to ever run out of toilet paper.

He lives at Khloe’s for free, which I don’t really class as unsupportive tbh.

Yes. When someone is so beautiful it becomes pointless. Like what could I possibly do with this? Same feeling I get when a desert is too cute/pretty. Can't eat it. Maybe that isn't the same thing. I'm stoned