On an additional note, last night over a dozen buildings were set on fire, which means dozens of people lost their business, and I surmise many don't have the appropriate insurance to cover it. So, what do you tell these folks? That it is okay to burn the place to the ground and ruin more lives because of it? …

...and a fake FHRITP guy is standing right behind fake Andy Reid

I know this isn't gonna get approved but weekends on Deadspin are so much better

How far can you punt a football?

As a Jew, I'd like to apologize for not dying in sufficient enough quantity to warrant defending ourselves.

A functioning comments section that didn't change ever 5 minutes (and get progressivly shittier) would be a nice touch too.

McKnight: Sings "back at one"

Sure, those same people would have their heart explode as the rounded 2nd base on a hit. Dudes overweight, sure, but he is also in much better physical shape than the average person. And that, to me, is fitness. It's that old "Skinny Fat" thing.

You're both right.

What the hell does being a former high school wrestler have to do with anything?

The only running-related questions the boys locker room will address are in regards to the whereabouts of your refrigerator

Scott Boris confirming it? I guess that's weird, I don't get your logic.

"bit a chunk off of Guerreor's ear off in the weirdest way possible."

Based on how he was raised, I'm surprised Hunter didn't slap the umpire back. His parents instilled the importance of an "i for an i".

"Suspending Zach Randolph? Good luck!"

Come on everyone, stop picking on this guy. We all know the camera adds 10 pounds, and I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason for the other 370.

Watch your back, Snowden. Boxers have long memories.

Worst comments on the best dunks of the year, ranked: