Trump: I don’t stand by anything.

I mean, honest to gosh I’m not trying to be pedantic about it. I just can’t watch the video right now so my brain is all ‘well did he back him into one of those little alcoves that leads to the door? Those kinda have corners.’

Or maybe Trump knocked out a wall to build an alcove/altar to his glory?

Trump may be a racist sexist piece of shit but that doesn’t excuse the continued crime of using the word “literal” where it “literally” does not belong.

host John Dickerson backed Donald Trump into a literal corner

Does anyone go to journalism school anymore? For the love of god, INVERTED PYRAMID, PEOPLE

I want him to partner with Kendall Jenner next year.

“You need to do something else now that in no way involves planning extravagant island festivals.”

she proved that pregnancy couldn’t stop her from winning her 23rd Grand Slam! I don’t even know what a grand slam is but am certain it’s an incredible feat.

“Potato boys” is a description I never knew I needed until this very moment! Bless you, dear child!

He is not that bright, not like he is going to become our president.

I am so sick of media sycophants drooling when McMaster, Vice President Q-Tip, Tillerson, and Nikki fuckin Haley (I have a rant about her in another post later) go out and say something reasonable. It doesn’t fucking matter. The buck stops with Our Orange Overlord sitting on the toilet tweeting between cartoons. He is…

For a split second I thought “Oh Audrey Hepbu-” then realized and washed my brain out with soap.

Drop the mic, you majestic bastard. You’ve won.

It’s a sad statement on the American energy sector when even somebody as talented as Janet Jackson can’t keep her mining job.

You have to go to Edible Arrangements for that.

I am much too old for 1D and I do not get at all why he’s attractive. I do not get it.

“I’d like a fistful of bologna. No, no need to wrap it up. I’ll carry it.”

You can argue that the bags are dumb, but the “his art” in that sentence refers to his larger body of art, which includes this, among other things:

Fuck all of you Social Justice Warriors. Tarzan was about a white man who is raised by apes.

I feel like princesses is a weird ass hill to die on, too. Save that battle for vegetables, or dating boys with goatees.