Republicans: Thank God we did away with that whole "purity test" thing! Otherwise we wouldn't have any candidates! Now who wants to go to a barbecue at Mark Sanford's place?

Hillary 2020: Third Time's the Charm

I dunno, I think this movie might be 2spoopy 4 m3.

"If there is even one man amongst an entire village that would offend Morrissey, thou must raze every tour date without mercy. Leave no ticket unrefunded. Leave no Marshall stacked one upon another." The Book of Morrissey 11:23

I hope that's not the Italian police uniform, because it looks like a polo shirt with a bunch of patches clumsily ironed on to it. Maybe it's so they can alter the design quickly during their bi-annual government changes.

Gee Joey! How come your mom lets you have 72 wieners!?

Split your arms with hugs of thunder!

I assume Earl Sweatshirt hasn't been seen recently because he still doesn't like shit, and would still prefer to remain inside.

I have a confession to make. I have no idea what Instagram is or what function it serves. None whatsoever.

Personally, I find the eggplant emoji a way bigger threat to my masculinity.

But Sean Connery was amazing in that!

I saw Squirrel Nut Zippers were playing in town a few months ago, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was just going to be a room full of people waiting for them to play that one song from the 90's.

Touring was nice, but I guess I'm glad she let us down gently. It's water under the bridge.

The truck overturned after a large bird, which witnesses described as "furious or angry" in appearance, struck the side of the trailer in a deliberate attack.

The obnoxious watermark really sells it.

His smile and optimism: Gone.

I'm putting $20 on the movie containing the line "IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE FOR REAL."

I think The Rock strikes the same pose in every promo photo he appears in. The same pose he used to call HHH a "roody-poo candy ass".

Yeah, I'm pretty much convinced that his entire MO. Write a review that wildly deviates from the critical consensus for whatever wacky bullshit reason he wants, and all that's left is to watch the pageviews soar before collecting another paycheck from a grateful National Review.

There's something to be said for a person who gets elected to represent a population of people, only to use that position of power to land a lucrative role on cable TV.