That time my cousin stole gum from Sweeney's Pharmacy.

I've heard some troubling rumors about Better Call Saul's ratings. It would really suck to see it get cancelled before everything wraps up, and the pain would be made all the more intense by the fact that a turd sandwich like The Walking Dead can keep shambling on forever with bafflingly high ratings.

I bought the FitDesk Ultra-Loud Edition for my cubicle, and now I get a table to myself during lunch every day!

I…may have peed on the Newswire floor.

Oi, that's bloody terrible mate, innit? I swear on me mum, these wankers sound roight daft, they do!

"What would happen if I changed this sign from 'Rabbit Season' to 'Elmer Season'?"

I'm calling it: Silver St. Cloud was The Wabbit in costume the entire time.

Howard should try spinning. That's a good trick.

My report on The Dark Tower
by Strange Albert

Underworld/resident evil-type

I tried listening to Harmontown pre-divorce, and he walked out on stage with a gigantic tub of margarita that his wife had evidently prepared for him. And according to Harmon, it wasn't his first of the day.

Let's give the Emperor emergency powers! Whatsa could go wrong?

Hooray, winter is here! That means Santy Claus and presents, right? RIGHT!?

My girlfriend and I watched it in theaters at about 7PM, and this old dude in our row snored his way through the whole thing.

I assume that "Chasing Coral" is the Walking Dead side-story where Rick's son runs away.

WISE FWOM YO GWAVE! (And call Quicken Loans today!)

I keep getting tempted to buy a dashcam, but I'll never be able to make videos that are cooler than the ones that Russians make.

The soil of Alan Moore's heart is stonier.

I hope they show Rorschach punching angels in Heaven.

I'D RATHER. HAVE. NOTHING.