When I get to Heaven's Garage
To Saint Peterbuilt I will tell
"One more car to park here, sir.
I've already parked in Hell."

"A horse stands in front of a Washington, D.C. butcher shop in 1943 (Photo: Bettmann via Getty Images)"

My Walmart had an isolation chamber in the breakroom where you could smoke indoors. The walls were glass from the waist up and covered in a yellow haze. During your break you could stare in and watch the scowling faces of your colleagues as they enjoyed one of the few comforts left in their lives.

Synystery Gates is my favorite Pantery song.

I worked in Walmart for a summer about a decade ago. Everyone who worked there smoked, I assume because they wanted to die as fast as possible. The back-room walls were covered in the portraits and quotes of our Glorious Leader Sam Walton. Our department manager would post hand-written rebuttals to anti-Walmart…

I was like "who's Lil Yachty?"

My greatest ambition in life is to one day have enough money to buy things sarcastically.

I've seen him show up in a number of "Share your negative celebrity encounter stories" threads throughout the internet, but who knows?

"Why doesn't this have any Minecraft in it?"

I can't wait for the song and dance number about marital sex in the missionary position for the purposes of procreation.

"Alright, we're going to begin the selection process now. Any questions?"

My uncle has a few of those in his trailer in the woods! I had no idea he was a Science Guy!

"But sir, this is a ticket for 'Cars 3'."

The framerate on the Switch version doesn't look…amazing.

Right now it's being called by cartoon characters.
"BOSS BABY CALLED ME!"
"OMG I CALLED THE GIRL FROM INSIDE OUT AND SHE ANSWERED!"
"I GOT A TEXT FROM LIGHTNING FROM CARS 3!"

The State of Illinois won't be unboxing this guy for at least 15 years.

"His recent online success had been seen as something of a comeback; his reputation was badly damaged in 2015, when he posted a video asking his young fans to send him videos of themselves twerking."

Hey, Hey, Hey!
I hope they put this guy away!

This isn't very Shoenice to watch.

"Wow, that CGI looked terrible. I wonder if they'll ever show us a shitload more of that guy and maybe give us an origin story!" -Me, 2 months ago on "The Conjuring Crew Fan Forums"