It's "most watched" in Valvoline waiting rooms, so there's that.

The Ministry of Truthiness

May the vengeful ghost of Dio have no mercy has he unleashes his dark magicks on this doughy has-been.

Are Dad Gifts like regular gifts, only marginally overweight and covered in salt-and-pepper hair?

"Oh, Jimmy is going to influence the lady by befriending her and being kind until she…oh no. OH NOOOOOOOOOO."

We're Knights of the Danish Table
We can't drum cause we're not able!

"I'm sorry, Disney, but everyone knows that nobody was crazy about the original Cars. The sequels got an even worse reception! I just don't know if it's wise to further diminish Pixar's reputa—"

Hooray, it's time for another Metroid adventure! I wonder what creative pretense they're going to use to take away her abilities for the sake of gameplay this time!

Yeah, I don't blame them for not being cool with it.

Evil AV Club: "Hehehehe! I'm gonna use this doodad to submit another story about PWR BTTM to the Newswire!"

I think the police usually get upset if you don't cover your bottom, powered or otherwise.

There's t-bones in the comment section!? Great, now Morrissey is NEVER going to come back to the AV Club!

Deadly Premonition was incredibly stupid and broken, and I don't regret playing it even slightly.

It looks like Dragon Ball's new fighting game is eating Tekken's lunch in terms of hype.

Spambots probably shouldn't criticize Putin, seeing as they're mostly from Russia and everything.

"Did you call Megan Fox and Kelly Clarkson's agents like I asked you to?"

*An off-duty Secret Service agent takes his seat in the theater*

Thank God she picked the Windex. I was terrified she was going to choose the skull and crossbones one.

God, I would kill to work at a stock photo company. I could just spend all day coming up with crazy scenarios that one day someone might potentially want to use. Probably on Cracked or Buzzfeed.

Yes.