"If you’ve ever been curious to try Soylent, this is your moment."

Instead, TNT has pledged to double the amount of airtime it spends showing repeats of the Tremors movies.

Do not, my friends, become addicted to plausibility, or you will resent its absence.

"Egg…I dreamed I was old…and sexy."

"Speak 'Friend' and enter."

"Haha, the mean nanny lady that wouldn't let the kids put themselves in mortal danger got eaten slowly! I am a test audience member, and apparently I am amused!"

I'm pretty sure I heard a song about a pair of shoes that could make a dying woman look sexy for Jesus, so I'm not so sure.

Maybe her character just says "I am Groot." throughout the entire movie and nothing else, so she didn't need to have any context.

It's been a long time since I've seen Holden Caulfield-posting.

"Sorry, eh! What a hoser! Beavers!"

Can I strap my Bloodboy to the front of my car?

The best science comes from scientists with unwavering preconceived notions about what they will discover after studies and investigations.

Fun Fact: The number of Nintendo Switch cases will always exceed the number of actual Nintendo Switches.

If it's any consolation, every global superpower was probably flagrantly ignoring their commitments to controlling climate change anyway, so this probably won't change much.

I thought the Pope's was famously supposed to be useless.

You're not going crazy. You're going sane in a crazy world!

He's going to vent his frustration on SpaceX employees by cutting their bathroom breaks from 2 minutes to 30 seconds.

Don't you mean: "This extremely impressive Guy Whose Name You Shouldn't Say Seriously Don't Say it For God's Sake fan film might actually happen"

Hey, so do I!

"'The Power of Friendship'? Come on, boss, can't we go a different direction?"