"The First Epic Movie"

Upvoted. See you in the slammer, everyone.

I'd upvote this, but I don't know if I can endorse GoogleFinancialCashJobs652ShopStation.

"Are those all the taxes you've got, you pansy?"

I'll never forget the episode where they lit a fire in a doorless room full of wooden furniture.

"A tornado, a tsunami, and an asteroid impact all in the same day!? What are the odds!?"

Look, my Dungeon Master is a good friend, but that's all they are.

That Tweet was waayyy too short to be written by Trump's ass.

It's actually the nuclear launch code for the week.

They're too busy with their YMCA classes. Maynard has finally decided to LEARN TO SWIM LEARN TO SWIM LEARN TO SWIM.

I'd laugh, but almost all of the activity on my account are obvious bots.

Everybody knows that the key to surviving the apocalypse is cool shoulder pads, intimidating masks, and spiky wristbands.

I can't believe that Squatty Potty dumped her. She gave them a leg up in their efforts to move their stools.

While playing Overwatch today some guy kept inserting the word "Covfefe" into everything, and I became increasingly nervous that this was some kind of tactical instruction or acronym that only pro-MLG players knew about. This article has informed me that I was just behind on my Twitter memes.

I'd watch this show if those damn VCR repairmen would hurry up!

"These Casper Mattresses offer a Bigly value!"

I just got mine for this month! It had a disheveled blonde hairpiece, some spray tan, a clandestine Russian communique, and an inflatable ego.

There's always the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future.

What a violent world we live in.

The Danzig's an interesting fellow. He's always got something to say.