I’m ugly and poor but have a big dick.

+1 friendly mosquito

Say what you want about Draymond but at least his shaft didn’t hurt anyone.

+1 life that mattered

I don’t think that means what you think it means.

Hopefully the boy’s mother has a chance to speak at the 2020 DNC.

No surprise here. In Asia most dogs end up being really good sliders.

You laugh, but I just translated it. It says:

This is always a problem at baseball games for some reason. Oh braves and Marlins are playing better get my Cubs hat and jersey. No you annoying douche stay home.

Besides the obvious serious point that this is just awful news, why do people wear jerseys for teams that aren’t even playing? For example, why are you wearing a ManU jersey if you are going to a Liverpool vs AC Milan match? You know, you can just not wear a jersey and go in normal clothes.

That trashcan is our starting power forward

My eyes are down here!!!

NOt a pretty sight.

I can see The Onion headline now.

I’m more of a feet first guy; I like my animal crackers to suffer.

I still love animal crackers. I eat the head first, then the feet, then the body.

This certainly answered any questions I may have had.

I am so glad that when I was 14 we were still on Internet 1.0

They look so flammable. And itchy.