Are you not “allowed” to exceed the speed limit in your car? If my car made me do 55mph on Detroit freeways when everyone else is doing 70+ I’d be pissed.

The driver should have been watching the road.

Every Massachusetts resident who reads this will follow up with a resounding...and?

If you’re an Olympic athlete, training for these games is your job, and competing in them is your life’s goal. Pointing out that the host country sucked at completing facilities shouldn’t mean that you therefore have to leave and give up.

Fun fact about the Deadspin staff: It is a colonial organism made up of many super super small things called morons.

I want to poke it with a stick.

Oh great, jellyfish have learned how to post internet comments.

This is the least fun thing anyone has ever said.

My friends gives us vinegar

Bernie: 85

#humblebrag

How do the women look?

This seems like an odd route to take to try and raise the money to finish building the Olympic venues.

They’re not.

Not 100% sure but I think CP means child porn

I was surprised by his response not because he’s black or an athlete, but because I assume that most kids in college couldn’t think or write this well.

Good job by the five cops. I hope officers Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny and Jenny receive an award from their department.

It’s not like he was treated badly by the kidnappers, though. They let him grab his house keys and use the restroom before they made him get the cash.

Expect the worst from people and you’ll never be disappointed.

“Now you will pay for giving us 4 goddamn Alvin and the Chipmunks movies!”