I went to Tennessee, where I broke the pattern by marrying another tubist.

Until you get to college, where if you’re in the tuba section, they’re your dating pool.

I always felt bad for the color guard. They were the girls who got cut from cheerleading at my school. And their coach didn’t know what the hell they were supposed to be: Flag girls? Baton twirlers? Drill team? Mid-century jazz troupe? Why not all four???! The way Family Guy portrayed them was accurate.

Wow these kids are great, no joke. Let’s leave politics out of this story for once, can we? Let these kids enjoy their last days in peace.

:(

Or did you get abandoned because you’re not progressive anymore? Seems like a chicken and egg discussion...and you’re choosing whichever one means it’s somebody else’s fault.

Pretty much the only think Patterson said at the show I saw recently:

We Midwesterners get an undeserved bad rap,We can be stoic and tough. But many of us put morals before money. Coastal cities can find massive support here, if they can get off their own high horses.

Hear! Hear!

I have a shameful confession to make: Although I love cats I’ve never actually had any, so I’m team dog. My first thought was that I have a tuxedo black Lab who looks an awful lot like Socks, and being the goofball that he is would gladly wrap himself around my neck and go for a stroll that way, but he weighs 100 lbs…

I think I can explain the furniture arrangement.

Bill’s wearing a really beautiful suit there, and well tailored, unlike President Mr. Big and Tall’s clearance rack wardrobe. That’s a perfect color too, you could wear it any time of the year and it wouldn’t look out-of-season.

Yeah, if they can get Pence out too, Ryan gets the White House.

Scotland. They hate Mango Mussolini as much as any rational people and they openly troll the shit out of the bastard.

Just hide the immigrants and refugees in libraries, H&R Block and sexual harassment prevention classes. Trump will never find them there.

Nice of him to resign with his pastor at his side!

Good. Fuck that guy.

You’re an excellent friend. She will appreciate it.

That sounds wonderful. I’m sure she will be very touched by your care and attention!

Yep, the gift card is best. You’re a good friend.