Sometimes you don't make it :( It was awful, I had experienced delay after delay and I just wanted to get home to my family. I would have made it if my first flight didn't come in some random airport annex way on the other side of the airport. I could see my plane but they wouldn't let me on. I had to get a hotel…

I call them out. I give zero fucks.

I miss the old days when planes boarded back to front (after first class, of course). Last time I flew I had a window seat in the back, and I waited until the line was short before boarding. One of the woman who I had to step over (she refused to stand up to let me get past her) gave me the dirtiest look and I gave…

On a 15-hour flight from LA to Sydney, a woman and her 10-year-old child sat in the seats behind me. A few hours in, I reclined my seat the full 6 inches to try to get some sleep, AS YOU DO. (Coach to Australia...the only way to fly!)

I always just turn around, look the kid right in the eyes, and say in my syrupiest, sweetest voice "Honey, can you not kick my seat? That hurts." Getting reprimanded by a stranger usually is enough to scare them into behaving, it lets the parents know their kid is annoying, and the parents can't possibly get upset…

I wish I could like this a hundred times. Little pisses me off more than a guy who insists he never wants to have kids but won't get the snip. Wait, so you want me to take all the responsibility for a reproductive choice I didn't make? I get to pay money to ingest chemicals that tend to mess me up, because you can't…

Yes! Whenever I see a coat in the overhead, all spread out so as to avoid all wrinkles, I am so tempted to shove my suitcase on top of it.

Yes. Your jacket can magically transform into a blanket or pillow. It cannot magically become luggage. Either put it in your actual luggage, or keep it the fuck out of the overhead bin.

I suppose bringing that up with your girlfriend is pretty effective too.

I love a man who likes to be pegged.

I'm telling you, personal questions shuts them up or provides serious entertainment.

I'd like to introduce you to my 10 year old consequence of the withdrawal method.

Yes. put your luggage away. don't put your goddamn jacket in the overhead compartment!!

Yeah. If the kid's legs are long enough to reach the seat in front, they're old enough to understand and obey parental commands to CUT THAT OUT THIS INSTANT.

Holy hell that baby is adorable.

Also: Dude next to you who spreads out his legs and completely infringes on your personal space.

Some of us are too short to reach the bins. So grabbing your chair is all we've got. Though, I at least try to be delicate and not yank on seats. I guess I'm one of the few.

I ordered my garden to grow me a lasagna.

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG

I believe this has been said but I really hate what no charges/conviction means that there was no rape will do for other rape victims who are afraid to come forward. Especially because they
get labeled as liars and cheats trying to besmirch an athletes name for profit and fame.