“Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.”—Roger Ebert

They say girls are attracted to men like their fathers.

She and Martin Luther King Jr. were born the same year.

It’s going to be the best event ever. Very classy

Also, I highly recommend his graphic novel trilogy to anyone who is interested in learning about the part he played in the civil rights movement, really well done books.

I don’t see him as a legitimate President either. Thank you Rep. Lewis for your continued bravery.

Iconic? How about stupid and done for shock value. The previous director had it right. Kevin Spacey’s character punished sins with an inhuman discipline. Morgan Freeman even gives a freaking monologue about it about how disciplined he is. But we’re supposed to think that a plan prepared years ago suddenly gets tossed…

Seriously at this point how the fuck is this real life. It’s too much to absorb. Like my new reality has shifted too quickly and I can’t fucking handle it. If I had the money I seriously would just go and herd cows at this point. The world has gone fucking mad.

Please don’t forget:

Let’s face it, 240 years was a pretty good, if not unprecedented, run for any republic. Now you’re all set for a despotic banana republic. Good luck with it.

Two things he said this morning:

Take anyone successful at standup comedy and they will mop the floor when handling a buffoon.

Who would have thought Seth Meyers would emerge as the hard-hitting late-night personality?

“Wikileaks” indeed.

please be true please be true please be true please be true please be true

alternate headline:

My god the next four years are going to be a fuckfest.

I want you to have this conversation and I want to be on speaker phone.