According to Republicans, the only two problems facing U.S. citizens today are women having abortions and transgender people attacking children in public restrooms.

He was only off by two feet.

Also, this:

“Clinton tries to ally herself with the “common folk,” but she comes of as pandering and fake. Trump does it too, but at least he seems real, especially when he is eating KFC.”

That’s what I don’t get. He seems to be vain as hell, but NOTHING about him would indicate that. His hair is a joke, his skin is unnatural, he’s overweight, and he wears terrible-fitting clothes. Or do NPDs also have a kind of body dysmorphia where they look in the mirror and see hotness where there is none?

its god’s mix tape.

Personal beliefs aside, that is an impressively thoughtful and work-intensive gift.

“The only peaceful resolution to all this is for them to obey the Constitution,” he said, condemning (as ever) Obama’s abuse of power. “Read it, understand it, abide by it. There doesn’t have to be violence. None of that has to happen if they would just abide by the Constitution.”

I saw this from Patton Oswald’s twitter, and I agree, I think Carrie spoke through this person.

The former waitress, who said she has been unemployed since 2004, spoke in a soft voice and told the judge she is receiving Social Security disability assistance.

Glavin.

90 year old Jerry: Hey, Lady!

Collateral Beauty sounds like one of Jenna Maroney’s hilariously bad side projects on 30 Rock - a cheesy flick would only be shown on eastbound Amtrak trains or something.

So, how is Trump not being investigated for treason? This really looks a lot like a conspiracy between billionaires to give control of America’s resources and political offices to a hostile foreign government.

Interesting takeaway from this election cycle: Turns out that the GOP, the party that routinely wraps itself in the American flag and the Constitution, not really all that interested in democracy.

It’s been interesting watching Twitter after the press conference. All the reporters are talking about the Russia Hacks or the fainting episode or anything but the two solid minutes where Obama lambasted them for running with the hacked email narrative for 6 months then wondering why it was such a big deal.

I will be curious to see what action Pres. Trump will take to console the nation when the first mass shooting happens on his NRA-sponsored watch.