Do you know what I do when the plane lands? Nothing. I sit there and relax while all the busy bees trip over themselves and get angry and work their blood pressure up trying to get two minutes ahead of each other, and when they’ve finished I leisurely stand up, grab my things, and saunter casually off. It is not…

On the bright side, he already knew what it was like to be dead.

I’m just so sick of these guys whining about how “attractive” people get more positive attention. No shit. Welcome to the world. That’s shouldn’t be a revelation to anyone. What baffles me is their inability to see attractiveness as a package deal. Yeah, good looks are going to get you more swipes on Tinder or…

yeah, I’m really looking forward to these dipshits discovering, to their great dismay, that the problem wasn’t on the outside.

Dear incels, we are not interested in dinosaur egg-sized testicles. What the FUCK ever gave you that idea???

Hey, Pence.

When a football player takes a knee during the national anthem, all the meatheads get whipped up into a frenzy that they don’t respect the troops.

Nothing says “member of the master race” than a 34 year old man still living with his parents.

Watching Roger Stone end up in handcuffs will be a singularly amazing moment. I hope Mueller throws the book, the sequel to the book, the prequel to the book, the book spinoffs, the TV script for the book, the movie script for the book after the TV series, the script for the edgy reboot of the TV series of the book,…

OMG this one actually made me LOL:

I feel like if any of these people had to face actual religious persecution, like being assaulted because of their beliefs or having their churches firebombed, they would drop dead in shock that such a thing is even possible because they’ve convinced themselves that greetings from supermarket checkers and the color of…

Actual professional editor here.

We need to understand that the Bill of Rights isn’t some steadfast monolith which dispenses freedom to all around, it is an intruder alarm to guard freedom— a string of cans lain at the perimeter meant to clang and rattle and make the people aware when someone attempts to incur tyranny against liberty.

This article may as well be called ‘how each of us is a pedant who withholds joy from themselves based on nothing.’

lol. “value realization leader.” what a fucking asshat.

The best part is when she fell through the ceiling. 

Actor, humanitarian, father, zaddy, DARKMAN and friend Liam Neeson.

so he swapped his seat for one toward the back

Support for Trump amongst white evangelical women has dropped 13 percent. 60 percent of them are still on board, however.

I for one can’t wait to see Christopher Plummer in Deadpool 2.