If you want them to last they are work. I can make grocery store cut flowers last two freaking weeks, it’s minimum effort but there is effort. Roses are pretty much daily upkeep if you don’t want them to look pathetic by the third day.

When was the last time you were in the Bay?  Palo Alto is not a sleepy college town, nor is Berkeley far from SF.

This question sticks out. There are at least a dozen P5 football programs in major metro areas. Somehow people forget that even Austin and Columbus have metro populations over 2 million (yes, both have grown dramatically in recent years). Combine that with legacy programs like Georgia Tech and Pitt and there are…

How major is major? Austin is the 11th biggest city in the country and Columbus is 14th and the schools in those cities know a bit about winning.

Word. We have some interns in our office that tweet and instagram under their own names, complete with “holy shit, I was so wasted” posts and bikini shots. What are you doing, man? Not only can prospective employers see that shit, Lord Dungeons and Dragons down in I.T. is looking at that and jerking himself into a…

If the door is open, the next guy can come in to the stall with his dick out, and since you are peeing standing up I assume your pants are around your ankles... this is how teen pregnancy happens.  read a book dude!

Your boss following you on Twitter is a great opportunity to delete your account and never use that toxic social network again. Think of it as him doing you a favor.

Why do you think it is that no major American city besides L.A. (and maybe Miami) seems to have a good college football team located in it?

My wife said that too, but then I bought her some just because it was an easy thing to do for a small gesture for a work thing, and she gushed about how nice they were. After that, I slowly started building to flowers for other things, starting with ‘just because’ and slowly moving to birthdays, each time with the…

normal people

Ok, wait a second, because this (very good) comment leads to a large number of other questions, chief being: you follow your wife’s friends’ husbands on Instagram?

“God damnit, Dave is hilarious. I’m actually gonna follow this one.” - Dave’s boss

Guys, buy your ladies flowers. Get the mid-price mixed bouquet that includes a few roses and features whatever color she seems to like. You’ll definitely earn bonus points for it. HOWEVER, do not buy the cheapest cheap-ass bouquet of flowers that the corner bodega has on clearance sale, because it will be dead in 36…

I honestly don’t know.  And that’s why I stopped liking all of Drew’s tweets, it was a one sided relationship, that minx.

What’s my move here? I don’t really want to explain these weird tweets to a 50+ year old man.

My wife loves getting flowers and I love getting flowers for her!  It’s such an easy thing to pick up when you’re at the grocery store and there’s nothing that makes me happier than seeing her face light up when I hand her a bouquet!  In those moments where she’s excited to go get the vase to put them in, that’s when…

Here’s an easy thing you can do on Twitter that’ll save you a lot of hassle and mockery, Ted Cruz. Don’t “like” weird shit. You don’t have to do it!! The author of the tweet won’t notice you haven’t done it, won’t call you out for it, and it’ll save you a lot of embarrassment when you get caught liking whatever creepy…

I’ve always felt that if you’re going to be wearing a T-Shirt with anything on it at all, by far the best variety is the one that was clearly free. Things from work, school, old softball “uniforms”, etc. To me, the statement of “I am too cheap to actually buy my own clothing” is infinitely superior to whatever shitty…

My wife hates getting flowers. She told me she doesn’t want a present that she has to then do work for, which my lazy ass can respect.

Ah yes, there’s the civility conservatives were clamoring for. Chants of lock him up directed at a victim of a bombing attempt.