People are going to go apeshit when she awards a first down for advancing 7.8 yards.

Team Cheers will whoop Team Family Ties.

I think that even implying that Troy Aikman is a good broadcaster was his most egregious thought turd here.

What if we treated white men like this just for, like, an hour a year? So they know what it’s like.

"Is that a '26.2' tattoo?"

This reminds me of that Bill O’Reilly segment from a few years ago when he ate at a restaurant in Harlem and was shocked that people weren’t yelling and threatening each other.

This is also the precise moment my boss figured out I hadn’t been working for two hours...fuck you Wondo.

If I could go back in time, I’d have lunch with Adolf Hitler in Vienna, 1912, before he had fully embraced antisemitism. We’d talk about what his plans were for the money from his father’s estate and have a passionate discussion on the merits of zonal marking on set pieces. Hitler would order the schnitzel, and I, the…

Just put ‘im in yer mouth...

Police are still proceeding with their investigation

Yeah, well, Arkansas is trying to appeal to business interests and businesses are coming out saying how terribad the whole situation is.

Packed my kid's thermos with Redd's Apple Ale. LOL.

My son was born on April 1st and that little disappointment continues to be the cruelest prank the universe has ever played on me.

Also, the Real Gay Agenda:

They're called "Bears," Bryan.

No, DIPSHIT! I'll rate you poorly for shitty food.

Has anyone out there actually had pizza at their wedding? Because I can't decide if that's the best idea I've ever heard or the worst.

This is crazy. Steph Curry is crazy.

I think you should consider that it's juuuuuuuuuust possible that this story, about a person observing with their own eyes a coach parroting his star player's play-calls, might be in the news because AN NBA COACH IS PARROTING HIS STAR PLAYER'S PLAY-CALLS. If it's happening, it's being reported because IT IS HAPPENING.