Satan himself wouldn't look Oakley in the eye, if he knew what was good for him.

That's exactly why this is dumb. Chuck is saying good teams don't give up that many points, but he played on a great Suns squad that gave up points in metric tons.

See, that feminist was doing it wrong. Personally, I'm excited to have my own personal white man that I can corrupt with all my social justice warrior evil. Baby sleeper agent!

"Jon Stewart Should Run For Office!"

"Those of us at the live taping were shocked when he announced his resignation."

Also the worst team in the league per Hollinger ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sixers fans are giving Raptors fans a run for their money as most sensitive fanbase.

and then in 1986 when they reported that the snow had overtaken Len Bias.

Just like Deadspin to tear down a guy like Jones. You guys are always looking for the fault in our stars.

Really, though, we all lost.

It looks like Antoine Walker wasn't the only Celtic who overdid it with homes.

That's because you're an asshole. And not just an asshole, but also a complete moron without even the most limited logical reasoning skills.

"I didn't know the end was going to be like this"

Danny Tartabull took my mom out on 2 dates, never called her again and made her cry. So obviously my answer is Ryan Braun.

"When he loosened his grip slightly, I said, 'Just do it. Kill me.'"

You know what they say: You can't spell Iowa, without "Ow my fucking I."

I'm guessing she was a Tressel fan, even Pryor to the tattoo.

Dakich keeps turning down jobs like I keep turning down supermodels.

Dear Electron,

You mean Dolan has been sober this whole time?