i ate a salad for lunch today while i was alone in my apartment. it was hilarious.

i think it's @jeezycreezy these days.

i run into this a lot with him. sometimes he says things that make me so happy and i'm excited there's another ally for my menagerie of causes, then other times he spews this hateful shit and i don't really know what to do with it.

this response makes the most sense to me.

just be sure to pray really had and jesus will send you a baby.

the beginning of your story made me so happy...then...such bitter disappointment.

bahahaha...glad to help.

that's true. when a vagina feels threatened it runs away and hides under the bed, and it takes like 2 hours of sweet taking and a pound of bacon to get it to come back out again.

THE FEMALE ORGASM WITH BRING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE!!!!

stork....haha. come on, it's 2013. everyone knows the newest babies come from the twitter.

oh my, thanks for this!

seriously. short bread is delicious.

look, if part of my grooming/beauty routine bothered my partner and he was like, "hey, wanna try this?" i wouldn't be bothered very much. i might even be inclined to try out whatever it is he was asking for if it didn't make me squeamish. i'm accomodating, and i want my partner to be interested in me. i would expect…

agreed. i range from bald to bushy depending on mood and it's never thrown off my man's game. If the author's game is thrown off by a little bit of hair he probably needs to step it up.

agreed. i can't get into it. i like being soft and smooth, but the contrast of my texture against his texture is really cool to me.

it makes me sad how chest hair has fallen out of vogue. my man has a mighty furry chest and it's one of my favorite things about his body.

i see it as a rule of thumb. i think it's about getting COMPLETELY over it, too. say you're in a relationship for two years. the first week after a break up is crying and being mopey, then the next month or so is rebounding, six months later you're dating other people and by the end of the year you barely think of…

hm. i'm 25, well educated and in posession of many many scarves. maybe i could be a professional hipster.

not being tara reid is something to be grateful for. she seems sad.

since we're on the topic of dining ettiquette, can i ask a serious question? how do i send food back without being a bitch? if the meal is just mediocre i'll usually just eat it and move on with my life, but every so often i'll get a meal that's just completely inedible or contains something i am unable to eat. what's…