This isn't awkward, this is bragging.

Early on in my last relationship I discovered my boyfriend liked to have his nipples touched. One night we were getting going in the dark and I felt around for his right nipple. He sort of stiffened and I thought maybe I wasn't making the sort of contact he liked so I whispered something like 'tell me what you like'…

I was on the phone, with my PARENTS, and my girlfriend had the devious idea to distract me with a blow job. I don't think that she knew I was talking with my folks...at least I hope not. It worked obviously. I was super distracted. I considered stopping her, but BJ's aren't common occurrences, so I tried to wrap up…

"misconstrued "literally means "misunderstood".

I know. I'm sure Stephen A. Smith wouldn't hold to that same, focus-only-on-the-first-part standard if Donald Sterling had said "I'm not a racist, but seriously, just don't be seen with black people at my basketball games." He'd have lost his shit. But it's OK when he says it about women..."I'm not saying...I'm…

It's not about her, then. It's about you, and here's what I mean by that. We keep talking about the girls. We know you have no business putting your tweet on the internet. I don't know how many times I got to reiterate that. But as a girl who was raised by ESPN, see I know what I'm going to do if somebody tweets about…

The exact number is hard to figure but it should easily be more than what Josh Gordon or Justin Blackmon is getting

It is not part of the marital duties. You should be having sex because you want it, and not out of some "duty". I've found often when I force myself to have sex when I don't want it it makes me find the person less sexually attractive in the future. When you are not into having actual sex there are other sexual things…

Ha. I mean, whats normal?

Though this quote from the entire trainwreck really is eye-opening:

Henceforth, losing one's anal virginity shall be known as popping the Mascherano cherry.

It's no surprise to hear that Warren Sapp doesn't tip.

It was my 3rd date with a guy I met on OkCupid, and my 3rd time waking up in his bed (things were going well). Only this time instead of waking to an alarm, I was awoken by the feel and sound of a massive fart coming out of my ass. The best part is that we were spoon-sleeping. And I was the little spoon.

It's tough to choose just one, but I did have a doozy of a day recently with not one but TWO ridiculous OKCupid dates.

I know mine will not be nearly as good/horrible as most of these. I went on exactly two dates with people I met online. The second was with the man I married. The first:

Expecting a woman to make plans to fuck a stranger met from an ad listed by another stranger is not "nice". Stop defending these fucking creeps.

My last date was...my last date. We connected on OKC and she was a therapist. I figured, OK, that's good. Maybe she'll get it, as most people have no idea what to do with suicide-related PTSD. We start texting. She encourages me to open up. I do. this goes on for a few days and we schedule a date for a week and…

Back in college, I contacted a guy living in my town on MySpace because I liked his profile. He responded and after a couple of days, we decided to meet up for drinks. I was in no way looking for anything serious so when he suggested we go back to his place, I said sure.