I’m grinning like a slow person

Torrey Smith, Bruce Ellington, and Quinton Patton, the top three receivers

What is hat?

That’s jarring.

“Ok, so I’m not great at necking. Just wait ‘til we get to heavy petting!”

Let’s talk about the logo.

Didn’t read. Just nipples

No, no, no. That was the Ceremonial Mosquito Spray.

What if there was an equivalent of “hut hut hike” that pitchers all said before each throw? How fucking awful would that be? Hip! Skip! Huzzah!

Ugh. So Messi.

“Yes sir, I’m home,” he said.

“Yes.”

Amendment III.100-a (2017)

Yes. Straight, homophobic dudes HATE talking about their balls. ONLY THE GAYS DO THAT

+1 early retirement

Who looks at this man and thinks, must be Mahj-arr-ee?

He’s just Cruzin’ around the ol’ baseball quadrilateral

Nice try, ESPNU. We all know there is no such thing as regular season NCAA Softball.

I want to marry your son