I can already tell where this is going, but what the fuck. Let’s see if it actually does.

We don’t have to hate the Russians, simply acknowledge that they have more than a few interests diametrically opposed to our own.

I’ve had to start forcing myself to use more exclamation points, even when I feel the preceding statement isn’t really worth of one, simply because periods so often get read with a negative connotation. It’s incredibly frustrating.

It really wasn’t. It’s a Universal Studios ride masquerading as a movie where a dude has brain sex with a woman, a dragon, and a tree. I want my three hours back, Cameron.

It kind of sounds like the in-package bird was only better due to circumstances unrelated to the packaging (duck fat in the first one, spatchcocking in the second). It would have been nice to know the results of a cooked-straight-in-the-bag bird compared to a just-salt-and-herbs bird, but I understand why Claire…

Thank you because this movie can go fuck itself in the ear. I don’t even care if the roles were swapped and it was J. Law waking up Pratty-boy. This shit is abhorrent.

Through circumstances too boring to recount, we’ve adopted my mother’s six-year-old Pyrenees/Golden Retriever mix. She loves to just talk to the world when she’s outside, and I have no idea how to stop it. Yelling at her quiets her for a bit, but I know it’s also giving her attention. Ignoring her doesn’t work because…

I think what the human experiment has proven is that intelligent life is a net negative, and no “higher” intelligence should ever take over again.

I DD a ‘15 AWD Charger in Colorado (bought it in February) and haven’t had stopping problems (including in the snow this morning). Were your friends on the prior model? (I have no idea how much a difference that might make.)

Because my wife’s Black Friday schedule is 1pm-10pm on Thursday (fuck retail), we’re having Thanksgiving the following Sunday. I’m thinking I might prep the turkey on Thursday while she’s at work and cook it on Saturday.

This. I got a letter in the mail with my voting record prior to the election (just ‘You did/didn’t vote in 20xx” listed out). The smart play will be to run the same reports, as soon as bureaucratically possible, and contact every single person who voted in 2012 but didn’t in 2016.

I’m confused by the pull test.... Do you pinch the hairs finger-to-thumb and pull? Or is it just being a bit more aggressive with the pulling when you run your hand through your hair? It seems like that method wants you to do both, and I can’t make sense of it.

Only if they’re 400 pounds.

You’re welcome! Answering provided my own not-working opportunity, so thanks as well.

You’re welcome! Answering provided my own not-working opportunity, so thanks as well.

In other slow cookers, it’s a vent. In this one, it serves double duty.

In other slow cookers, it’s a vent. In this one, it serves double duty.

I got a loaner from the mechanic that was an 80's Nissan pickup with everything but the driver’s seat and the seatbelt stripped from the cabin. It was the most fun I’ve had with a loaner, and now I want a truck like it really bad.

Update: The very good doggie has been found.

Those places generally cost more than Denver or Boulder because that’s where every rich chucklefuck wants to buy their vacation home. (I’m not saying you’re a rich chucklefuck as I have no idea.) If you want inexpensive housing in Colorado, I hope you enjoy living in a place largely indistinguishable from Kansas.

I wanted to make a joke about Tiffany just being a pattern-recognition mistake caused by lighting and background noise, but then I felt bad. She didn’t pick her dad, and it’s not her fault The Donald only acknowledges women he wants to bang.

Hail Mary contest! Don’t bother with formations and running down the field, though. The receivers and secondary stay in the end zone. The quarterbacks both start at the 50. Get a touchdown, step back five yards, and the other team has to get a touchdown to continue. Throw a pick and you only get another chance if your…