Ted Cruz: Duck Hunt is, at least, phonetically accurate.

“Some people don’t understand that concept,” he explained. “They just wear the same clothes and they stink.”

You are one of my favorites. There’s a lot of this type of information I am unaware of as well and you are always succinct and polite in your responses. (Also you are a wizard hat and I have mad respect for that. I imagine you as a Carmen SanDiego/Merlin mix.)

Michigan apparently has a form of indeterminate sentencing where the legislature sets a maximum sentence and a judge sets a minimum sentence. When the convicted person reaches the minimum sentence he’s allowed to go in front of a parole board to ask for release on parole, but must serve at least the minimum.

I believe the eggplant soup story... because thinking anything else but that I refuse to allow enter my brain.

I’m a litigator. Sometimes I’ll do oral argument before the Court and think, “shit, that felt like rambling. I bet I sounded so dumb. I must do better next time.” And then I get the transcript back and I’ve spoken eloquently throughout it. Comparatively, I imagine Palin is like “nailed it” after a speech and then…

Agreed on all accounts, except I think you forgot when Danny Devito exposed us all to his bae potential.

Oh man, it just keeps getting better. I never ever ever want Rob and Chyna to break up.

*edit*

She’s bleeding from the eyes in this video. Her sister Bella plays a spy in The Weekend’s video. Together they’re StigMata Hari.

You are a good person.

PRETTY GOOD SONG. BAD, BAD VIDEO.

Good luck to him. He deserves his own chance to shine.

The visual imagery in this video is so subtle and thought-provoking... I mean a flower blooming between her legs! I don’t think anyone has EVER compared a vagina to a flower before, ever! Really inventive, that.

Glitches in his programming. Future upgrades will make it even harder for him to fail the Turing test.

“Oh boy, you got me a NINJA BARBIE?!” “Oh, no, dear, I got you a Kinja Barbie, to reflect a more realistic version of adulthood where you spend 75% of your day trolling comment sections.”

Earlier today I stated that this feud paled in comparison to that of BoB and NDT, but once the assplay got brought up I had to eat my words. There’s no beating an assplay reference in a Twitter feud.

It’s not the first time Grandma has been woken up with a banana, amirite?

Everyone needs to stop telling Whit Stillman it’d be fine for him to DJ.

As someone who has worked with survivors of domestic violence and as someone who is below the poverty line (because I chose a career that works with survivors of domestic violence), these articles feel like such a heavy “should” that so many can't accomplish. I appreciate your acknowledgment that this is a pipe dream…