Maybe instead of cocaine Oprah should have asked her how many time she did meth. I always assumed that was her drug of choice...

It's entirely possible she only remembers snorting coke 10 or 15 times. Blackouts suck. I only remember doing blow maybe five times, but I probably did it a good deal more before I got sober, especially when I was running around getting blackout drunk with a group of people who always had it on them, which is probably…

Let me tell you as a person who began puberty at age eight, I would have traded the underwire D+ cup sized bras any day of the week for a pock marked face. It is far worse to be the fifth grader with big jugs than it is to be a seven year old with some white heads. TRUST ME.

if anyone needs me i'll be in the angry dome.

Integra, because if you got some in a tiny back seat like I did back in the day, you'll always remember it.

Alison Janney should be in everything. I've enjoyed just about every performance she's turned in. Especially as the florist (Ann?) in Big Night.

I keep thinking Lady Gaga has a song called "Applesauce".

Madonna looks like a melted Madonna Waxwork.

It must be exhausting to be Madonna. Can't have a simple birthday party or an age appropriate boyfriend.

Thanks to you and CannedPam, Tsunami Blue, and PeachyTeach. I went ahead and met at a nearby bar instead of the hotel one. Lots of unexpected, incredible, adventurous things happened, and let's just say it was one of my best sexual experiences ever. Like top 10 ten. I'm still just in shock, but no regrets. Boundaries…

Bah! Mean Girls alphabets are SO FETCH.

My ferrets used to roll around under my feet, gnawing at my toes while I walked. It's a shame they are such stinky poop machines, or I'd be an old ferret lady by now.

Hello America I'm Chloe Sevigny. It has recently come to my attention, that I love Beyonce. I recently went to a Beyonce concert, where I discovered the beauty that is the vocal talent that is Beyonce and that I am a Grown woman, so I can do whatever I like. I wore a devilish smart extra long camels wool…

Dang Bey! I mean, you do you and all, but I really wanted to see the pixie glammed up instead of just in a mirror selfie.

Accidentally gave someone a "crazy girl" story and man repellent once. Never regretted it.
Summer in a Canadian liquor store: I was on one side of the stacks of beer cases, not in any mood to be bothered. He was 10 feet back, on the other side, grinning, making eyebrows at me and generally trying to get my attention.…

Okay. Repeat after me.