I thought cure and season were both pretty standard at this point. But of course, not everyone is a cast iron/carbon steel nerd, so that teaches me for taking it for granted! I saw somewhere, and liked it enough to repeat, that the way to put oil in, then act like you made a huge mistake and try to wipe all the oil…

He called his table seasonings “White Power” and, well, you know.

“I’ll be the victim!”

Try your egg salad on the rye, or the kaiser...

You read the part about their physical limitations, right? 

Now use the banana stuffer in conjunction with the Rollie Eggmaster and make our lives complete!

A Dark and Stormy Bite, if memory serves.

Eggceptional eggiting.

Aw, you dick Evil Ted!

I’d just spend it at Costco on an entire ribeye primal  and make my own damn steaks.

He is a doucheheaded dickbag, and a particularly salty one at that.

“Marcia, Marcia, Marcia... You have grown up to be so gorgeous! Jan, isn’t Marcia gorgeous?”

“Ruin their knives and sell them yours! It’s genius!”

Those post-demo penny corkscrews are USELESS!!!

“They’re far more pearly now, Trebek!”

Hopefully, the script made a direct TP roll-to-screen transition, without any of the usual studio shit.

Fantastic episode, Harris!

Tonight, I had someone ask what our most keto-friendly drinks are, and for two cups of our spiciest salsa with chopped up serranos, and warmed up. I wanted to strangle them.

You unconscionable, fancy bastard.