You do you.

You mention Kankakee and food, and my mind goes straight to this blessed memory (it takes a minute to get there, but I think the trip is worthy): https://www.rogerebert.com/roger-ebert/your-flag-decal-wont-get-you-into-heaven-any-more

It’s not complex; it’s Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Again. Q isn’t a person; it’s Henry Ford’s ghost. And he was a czarist propagandist’s ghost.

Yup.

Oh, I do.

The vodka: cheap.

Thank you! I feel the same.

Just Ghostwriter.

Wow. That is far too much for anyone to bear. Rest In Peace, sir.

Oof! Fair enough.

At least we know he didn’t cheat on his food handler’s permit test.

This one’s for the cast iron. Bonus: there’s always tons of leftover crust, and when baked they taste exactly like White Cheddar Cheez-Its.

That’s a memorable one.

That’s easy to do! Luckily, the remedy is simple; add more broth! Just ends up making more gravy!

Food-wise, my worst in recent memory was a few years ago, when a friend wanted to greet a friend of theirs who was returning from a long vacation abroad with a full Thanksgiving spread. I threw myself into it with my usual gusto, making tons of pies, turkey, sides... a couple of people who were going to be there…

Back in the 90s, when I was but a wee Deadpan, I was watching the post-dinner Cowboys game with my father’s side of the family. It was a rare snow game, vs. Miami if memory serves. During a Dolphins field goal attempt, the kicker slipped and fell. When I recreated it, my pantomime for a huge laugh, so I did it again.…

Yum! Have you seen ChefSteps’ yakitori turkey setup?

It’s definitely gotta have stretch. And a little style goes a long way.

You can use it daily, if you don’t mind it being tarnished. Hand washing a couple spoons after eating a bowl of cereal isn’t that big of a deal.

Some things freeze really well. Make the full recipe, then bank portions in the freezer for later (DIY TV dinner, anyone?)! Scaling down recipes works really well, though. I am employed at a store which offers cooking classes; if we had to keep recipes at their usual scale, groups of two students would incur even more…