There is no logic, no well-reasoned argument, no appeal to humanity that will change the behavior of someone enjoying the particular kind of mental illness Cliff describes. A grenade might do it, but I doubt it. Cliff is a survivor and a particular compassionate one as well. But it would be immensely satisfying to…

By God, I have stayed up til 3 in the morning because someone on the Interwebs was WRONG.

Wow, asshole much?

When you remember this conversation, imagine your acquaintance suddenly flying across the room and crashing into the wall as a deep voice from above thunders, "THIS IS GOD'S WAY OF TELLING YOU THAT WHEN I WANT SOMEONE TO KNOW SOMETHING I WILL TELL THEM MY OWN DAMN SELF."

Hey scooter...If you scrub your kid's face with a steel wool soap pad because he's dirty, is that "washing his face"? CPS didn't think so, nor did local law enforcement. This is as far from "giving a child a haircut" as you are from a winning personality.

It's almost as hurtful and shaming as always being in the gray when posters who communicate in phone text..."I don't no y u r mad" are in the black. :(

We are missing a huge thing here - about elephant size. A woman’s hair (as we know from the Word accordingly to Jim Bob) is part of her personality, part of her sexuality. Her father (who seemed to be really enjoying himself) cut her hair off; he then mocks her. As Mimilady said, this was done to adult women during…

I’d call. They’ll be worried after they read this as to why you’re not using Aleve.

And getting dressed after taking three Aleve PM may be the only excuse for that outfit. She looks like a typhoon.

Darlin’, please. Here’s a great beauty, a great actress, who’s in her seventies, who could still stop a clock in a short black dress and we’re going to comment on her neck? There is shit that happens when you age that no amount of fancy grease is going to stop. There is shit that no surgeon’s knife can reverse. It is…

I understood gender reassignment like I understood quantum physics -on a very simple level, maybe I should say on the most minimal level. And I figured anything grown in the Kardashian’s garden was going to be just another over the top sideshow, although the former Bruce Jenner carried himself with more dignity than…

Well, I had a damn good recipe but Kinja kicked me out and then let this fragment there with letting me edit it like I suddenly slid under the table and now I’m too embarrassed to go on.

All right, Brussels sprouts virgins, let me put the training wheels on for you. As my sergeant once said at a departmental dinner that included strange and exotic foods like sashimi, “You gag, and I’ll pull my taser and light you up like a Christmas tree.”

All these concern trolls think that “sickos”are turned on by pictures such as the little one above. The problem is that they don’t have a clue in this wide world of what blasphemies the sickos find erotic. And may they never, ever find out. It is not the “Lolita” that attracts the true pedophile -Nabokov’s Humbert…

I changed my name legally because it was so distressing. I also disowned anyone who refused to give up the old name. It was literally the beginning of a new life for me.

Tracy, I once asked SpawnofStillaSouthernThing’s pediatrician what the difference between all of the OTC painkillers was and he said, “They’re all the same thing (You idiot)!” It said right on the box it was The Pediatrician’s Choice. I had no reason to believe that product packaging would lie to me. That was back in…

Hannibal Lector, gourmand, philosopher and liver-eating liberal, once remarked on the dangers of attempting to quantify him. It is a dangerous thing to try to classify any human by a subjective test, let alone one in which the subject provides the answers. We are not static beings. The term “personality” is shorthand…

Still amazed at the poop and shower guy...dude needs to get a bidet.

I would be really grateful for a recommendation for a smaller, light power saw that would be good for a beginner. I'm repairing a 1940 era farmhouse and I have a jigsaw and reciprocating saw; I have a lot of work that can only be done with a circular saw and I admit they make me uneasy. I don't have the wrist…

I think that announcing the birth of a child and commenting on the child support arrangements ought to become a "thing" as we say on Jezebel. I'm thinking a lovely snapshot of the baby, with its little statistics, birthday and in lovely Spencerian script, "Our precious Pleasuredome Weedwhacker was made possible by…