It's awful when I drink because then I read the posts about Mama June and Kim Kardashian - who are actually the same woman in different bodies, if you think about it, and I don't- but who is the brain donor who thinks this bitch takes her own selfies? She is making a living doing this - why do any of us go to college?…

I live near a mushroom farm that smells incredibly bad downwind (they use sterilized cow manure as a medium) but grows lovely mushrooms that you can get freshly picked for a great price. I know that folks jeer at the Southern penchant for frying anything we can get in a skillet - but after you have tried Mr Burneko's…

When we stop turning deplorable, destructive lifestyles into entertainment, we may gain a tiny foothold up the steps of being civilized beings. We ban the old circus freakshows of people whose celebrity stems from an innocent physical defect as being exploitative, but we gather around like chickens around a dead bug…

Yeah, I'm not sure where I was trying to go there due to an overabundance of flu meds, My kid just asked me what reverse blackface is too. I believe what I was after was"offensive caricature". Poorly phrased but deeply felt.

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is to the majority of educated Southern people like reverse blackface. It is offensive in the last degree. I am law enforcement; my kid is social services (domestic violence protection officer) and here is our truth: In our poverty stricken area, our very rural area (I swept a gator off the…

That sounds awesome. Down my way (that swampy part of Florida where we are working too hard to be as crazy as Florida Man) we eat chili over fluffy rice and put a helping of sweet/sour homemade coleslaw on top. It may sound odd but the hot rice makes a good foil for the meat and beans and the cold tangy coleslaw…

I have seen something like that pie in the photo, but it was in a body bag at the time.

I just annexed the word wibbling into my vocabulary. Where do.I send the royalties?

And this, my friends, is why I no longer date.

This is so freaking true. I have in an emergency employed trash truck driving idiots and most of them I've had to throw off my property. (I'm talking to you, asshole that had no hammer and called me to ask me if I could find the screwdriver he lost).

Hey no worries. I know my outlaw ass is left behind and we will seriously PARTY.

Yeah, before I escaped from the Baptists, we got a lot of that Left Behind shit. I knew I was going to hell, so sometimes in the middle of the night I'd call my mom (she was always up) just to check. I knew if she was still there, there'd been no diaspora to Heaven and I was still good.

This is my movie to watch when the world goes to shit around me. It taught me more about love than all the hetero rom-coms in the world. It taught me about owning your identity. It made me wish that I could be part of that family, too.

I'm not waitstaff, but I'd like the floor a minute.

I love this picture because the big goat is twice the little goat's size but she bends down so they can play. If this was a video you could see their tails going back and forth at warp speed. At night they sleep cuddled into each other. They are just joy personified.

They wag when they're excited or agitated. The harder the wag, the higher the emotion. At least this is what my girls do.

Here's another dangerous animal I got dinged on...look at that killer!

Oh honey you caught me hungover, so now I'm going to be all internet grumpy and tell you that I have been raising and training dogs for over thirty years, I work with police K9s and I have forgotten more about dogs than the insurance companies will ever know. When you say breeds you sound like you believe everyone who…

GOOD OLD DOG! You love that puppy every day. Praise for everything, including farts and pee spots. God almighty, i wish i had my old boy back! Blackie is a DAMN FINE DOG!