I read Wool in one sitting (/walked around holding it so I could grab coffee and snacks). Super engaging—I literally couldn’t put it down! Looking forward to the rest of the series.

The ‘Feline Fine’ sweater would definitely be on my bday wishlist. That cat looks startled and not fine at all. It would be a perfect kitsch sweater for days when the world is burning down “but everything’s fine!!!”

This is either too much tech or not enough tech for a shower. I’d be down if I could step into the shower and have it automatically pressure wash me at the perfect (hot) temp. Fuck all the lights and sounds and apps. That’s a demanding shower experience.

Oooh, I love Drunk Elephant! TBH I probably got suckered in by the name and packaging but I swear their creams are all actually great.

Truth. So expensive, so worth it. I don’t naturally wake up like this. It takes chemical assistance.

Do IT, do IT! All I can even say is the hype is real. Plus, idk about you, but I had spent at least that much trying several different products with no results (or alternately, face-searing results), so it made the initial hit easier to stomach. But I am biased.

I’m a sucker for masks with an X factor. Bubbles, heat, snails, color-change, anything from a shrinking body of water....magnets(?!) and I haven’t tried this yet? *twitch* Added to Cart.

That’s how I found the resurfacing mask! Damn birchbox for sneaking the good stuff into our “freebie” boxes and getting us hooked! But for real: Good Genes is ($$$) magic in a bottle. It reveals the skin you would have if you never faced pollution, sun, or age. All the hype is real. My conscience will not allow me to…

*takes seat quietly*

/cut to the sound guy dyeing his hair and shaving off his beard in a LaGuardia restroom before his one-way flight out of the country

I’m already wary of my friends’ snitch-daughter Alexa. I guess it’s scrawled messages on paper and hand signals from here on out.

Hi! Here are some books that have afforded me entire days of escapism from major depression recently (Note: They aren’t lighthearted so much as really engaging):

After those, get on The Affair!

Juzwiak fan delights in post-Gawker pieces: like putting on fave ‘cashmere CARDIGAN and finding valium, $20 in pocket’

Jesus fuck, reading stuff he says is mentally exhausting. “Jared could do peace,” is just an amalgamation of words! It doesn’t mean anything! Ugh.

I doubt the fake news providers are willing to anger their users (decreasing clicks and ad revenue), so I dunno if they’d go for it. But I imagine there’s someone out there savvy enough to hack in and do it for them.

That hunched-over-food-with-shit-eating-grin thing he does is the equivalent of the sorority girl squat.

Tallied to 3! I should probably check out his IMDb page to see what other ~passion projects~ are in his filmography ;)

Tally amended to 3 James Spader Porn Movies!

Every time I hear about James Spader, I always think of Secretary. Which always makes me think of the scene where Maggie Gyllenhaal throws tomatoes at a guy chained to a stove while he graciously thanks her.