You are CLEARLY the best I want my mom to buy donuts and listen to me sing now

this dilemna causes me undue empathy stress. i’m going to pretend i never read this.

Well, it’s really good that a horde of reporters and camera people and randos (not as well trained in crime scene analysis as me) marched through their home, a location full of evidence.

I AM ALL THAT IS MAN

You know how when it’s a story about ridiculous humans and you somehow know it’s about Florida? When I hear stories about big-ass lizards and spiders my Australia-sense starts tingling. What the fuck Australia.

Goddess bless the Australians. I couldn’t live with the creatures they have, just hanging around the house.

I love you Australia. You have some very attractive men, some reasonably good wine but....your whole country is just a big bag of nope.

I love Australia, but every flora & fauna over there is a potential death trap...

Haha I don’t have kids but i would be extremely upset if my parents had a “favorite” like even if i WAS the favorite.

Haha I’m glad it conjured the right image. I think my face nearly folded in half over the course of reading and writing.

Can you tell us more thingz without the brain hurty numbers and words? Please I need to know if I can conserve my outrage tonight.

And with the boy babies you are way more likely to get your face pissed on. This is just poor decision making.

<— me writing this post

The ring? Do whatever you want, when you feel ready. There are no “shoulds” that apply right now, except: you should take care of yourself, be selfish with your time and attention until you feel stronger. Glad to hear your friend is there for you-it helps. Sending internet stranger positive thoughts and hugs!

To be fair, with the drugs out there now (for both people in the equation), people can engage in unprotected sex and not transmit the virus, but she would have had to start taking PrEP. I think luckily his viral load was very, very low. But yeah, I would be more angry about having to “discover” the HIV+ status instead…

Coldplay is playing the Super Bowl

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? How can that even be a legal requirement? Fuck these old white men so fucking hard with a rusty chain saw. I hope they all come back as women in Saudi Arabia. Lower class women.

The original keurig! But in all seriousness, after being sort of forced into formula feeding after a perfect storm of circumstances, I’d have done most anything to escape the drudgery of bottle. This device just doesn’t solve quite enough problems.

Good lord. And I struggled with whether or not I really needed a baby wipe warmer. (spoiler- you don’t)

“Anyway, you can get what’s essentially a Keurig for baby formula now.”