I feel a great disturbance in the Tort, as though millions of HIPAA compliance officers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

If the internet has taught us nothing else, it has taught us that people are the creepiest of shits out there.

People are such creepy shits.

I live kind of, across the way from a really nice neighborhood. Like, an NFL player lives nearby. My house is more in the "new owner" kind of size, but there are some fucking awesome houses. It's got the same kind of deal: every Halloween, buckets of kids come in from everywhere to go trick or treating. And you know…

clearly not from this neighborhood

My kids always hated the damn cover-ups. People, its not like I WANT you to see my crusty (slightly) hairy nipples. Grow the fuck up.

So, in parts of America, people force women to give birth to children but the same people won't allow said women to feed their babies? OKAY THEN.

Ugh, righ? I use half & half for a reason, and that reason is because it has more fat in it.

Sorry, there are no pee's. Would you like to buy a bowel?

Counterpoint: Missionary is such an overrated position.

Coffee Mate is liquid diabetes corn syrup jizz. PASS.

MISSY ELLIOTT, I NEED MORE OF YOUR MUSIC IN MY LIFE YESTERDAY.

Not the way I played Barbie.

Nah, I'd still rather let my 6-year-old kid watch "Barbie: Legend of the Candy Princess Horse" than "Breaking Bad". Besides, if it forces more people to go to comic book shops for them then I'm all for keeping them out of Toys R Us.

Is this your kid:

Your kid is actually metal as fuck.

This kind of situation is more common than you'd think in every type of family, poor or not. Victims are expected to just get over it and are forced to see/interact with their molesters, especially if it was a family member or SO of a family member. You can be emotionally dense whether rich or poor.

I would be happy if we treated the NFL and MLB as what they are, for profit sports leagues whose objective is to provide a product for consumers, and not some kind of bastion of 'Murican values and traditions that can't be changed or it will be the end of this country forever.

That should not have made me laugh but it so did.

I think you guys have your work cut out for you. I was raised in a house with a father who openly respected my mother. He would not tolerate any form of disrespect being shown to her. As a teenager (and general ass-hole at the time), there was nothing more frightening to me than to disrespect my mother and have…