Coincidentally this is how I am spending election night. Only Shep Smith has Animorphed into a kitty.

For some reason I really want to smoke a bowl and play Mario Kart with Shep Smith.

Nobody said you did. It’s almost like you are the article, in living form.

As a straight white male:

Boy, you’re really pissed at the Deadspin choads, huh?

On this glorious day, a day where women will likely make history, may I get out of the grays, please? - Loyal Jez follower for seven years

Thank you! In the other post, I ranted about why I’ve had enough of the entitled white male schtick. Just shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. This is not your election. This is mine.

Also, I never leave the house without Chapstick. I legit have 15 tubes scattered around my house at any given time. I’m sorry you don’t know the joy of having soft, protected-from-UV-rays lips, Chris Wallace.

shepstick lol

FUCK I could have sworn I called him a walking uncircumcised penis somewhere but now I can’t find it. But anyway he looks like a walking uncut dick

There are times when I just want to go off on people who insist that Hillary is somehow this evil figure who is a super manipulative liar and a Machiavellian genius bent on corruption.

Deadspin writers decided to publicly document all the ways they think they are above the election and reinforce the fact that even when faced with actual racist fascism, reminiscent of Nazi germany, white dudes don’t have much to fret about. 

I hope the ghost of Susan B Anthony makes Susan Sarandon shit her pants tonight.

If by some strange horrible longshot Trump wins, I will cease to speak to anyone who insisted on voting for Stein or Johnson because “I shouldn’t have to vote for the lesser of two evils” or “Clinton is a liar and murderer” or “they are both terrible” or “I don’t have to follow the crowd” or “If everybody would vote…

Tell Black North Carolinians or Latino Nevadans that voting doesn’t matter.

A vote for Stein today is a big fucking mistake no matter who you are.

OK there is no way you guys aren’t shading the bro-chads over at Deadspin. And I agree with the shade. Few things more obnoxious than aloof white boys whose aloofness is courtesy of them having no skin in a game that could end with a white supremacist in the oval office.

If the only way you can win an election is by preventing people from voting... yeah that’s not only pathetic, but the concept of democracy eludes you.

Trump: Psssst. Mel. MEL. Who do I vote in for Congress?

He’s never voted before, so he’s just trying to see what he’s supposed to do.