It also helps if you’re deaf, dumb and blind.

I can’t wait tilde next time they meet

“I got 99 problems but ACCOUNTABILITY ain’t one”

UPDATE: The NFL has fined Ramsey for targeting defenseless players.

Barry said “kicker,” not “punter.” 

Naaaah. They should throw him to the Lions.

Sorry you had to be in the hospital! Food Network is the only thing I watch when I’m in the hospital, usually because I’m not allowed to eat when I’m there. 

Scott Conant called me a loser and blocked me on Twitter for making a joke about my own ineptitude at cooking pasta, and I was actually a fan of his (and really enjoyed his pasta place at the Fontainebleu in Miami, got to go as part of a work conference). So I dunno, if you’re a celebrity chef, maybe don’t be a dick…

The tv in my office somehow got turned to the food Network and I swear they showed five straight hours of Kids baking championship yesterday followed by another five hours of Diner's drive-ins and dives. 

Elijah Wood in Sin City. 

This judge just doesn’t come across especially impartial. From other things I’ve read of this trial I’m not sure if he’s leaning towards either side, but he’s very much inserting himself into the trial. It just comes across questionable.

I’m kind of a non-confrontational weenie. One lunch place has a waitress who is a bit much. A lot of overly earnest “sweeties,” bad jokes, and awkward mugging. I like the food enough, I’ve started to find her hijinks endearing. Easier than raising a fuss. Side note: if I’m ever in a hostage situation, I’m totally…

That’s just a misunderstanding caused by missing punctuation. Since the layoff, it’s supposed to say, “Sense of humor; seldom revealed on TV.”

“Oh my stars! Where is my fainting couch?”

Only selling the regional chips in THEIR markets, rather than being like “taste of the (region)“ and mixed around is dumb. I’m in Texas and I want those goddamn Old Bay chips. I can get queso any time I want.

That itch you’re feeling is an early warning sign of heart disease.

I respect myself far too much to read The Federalist.

I will say this, if he does try to make an episode about this controversy and he doesn’t get it just right, that will be a complete shitshow.

Michigan J. Frog criminally underrated. 

I’m going to next publish a story with the headline “BBQ” and the rest of the post blank, and just let commenters fight it out Hunger Games-style