You are a 1st ballot Deadspin Commentor HOFer

This is one of your best. Wow.

Thank you for answering and clarifying! All of that makes total sense.

I am absolutely and admittedly much more wary of the motivations of people these days, esp online where anonymity gives us a certain degree of vagueness in place of actually knowing the person + their intentions.

Again, thank you and I support your…

Listen...I almost never comment on someone’s looks bc it’s just bad.

But I’m sorry...LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

Why is it that every fucking creeper politician doesn’t know how to smile? Is it bc they just can’t muster up the real thing due to their sociopathy? They just literally *don’t know how* to do it?

Goddamn this…

Would you mind expanding on this?

And would you mind answering why we should view an alternative to what Hemmerling said? Why isn’t imagining this as your mother/sister/female relative/friend good enough?

Are you doing the thing where someone mentions something terrible hypothetically happening to a woman and, for…

Yeah, I know that, but I like talking shit about the Raiders more sooo....

I never said I mind the practice

I’m sorry but comparing the Raiders to a hot woman is just categorically wrong.

Playing for the Raiders would be like dating Wendi Deng, straight up.

But then how will he link to another really popular article on the site?

I honestly feel as if 1 out of every 10 lines on Deadspin was specifically crafted so they can link to other articles. They’ve been doing it for awhiule now. 

I’m going to be as kind as I can here bc it seems you are comically misinformed.

By posting an article from the National Review, you are openly inviting people to mock you as a stupid, mouth-breathing, incest-loving, racist misogynist.

Now, I’m not saying you are those things, but people who actually read the…

Professional journalist here.

The reporter seems to be a bit of a childish dick on Twitter, but...it’s Twitter, so ::shrug::

The main crux here, which no one seems to want to highlight besides Laura in the piece, is that Verlander, as a part of MLB, is literally a part of the contract that teams have with the reporters’…

“Given Eaton’s income and trends since the recession, he probably got himself a pretty damned low mortgage rate. Combine that with historic gains in the market, and he very well might be better off just investing his money and paying down his mortgage.”

I mean, I’m pretty sure this was taken from a comment made on the…

California has a terrible, terrible past when it comes to racism, just like the rest of the country. I mean, Confederate soldiers who were escaping the loss of the Civil War relocated to middle CA and named places like The Alabama Hills, etc. It’s fucking gross.

Hips. You don’t look at the ball bc if you look at the ball and someone that is good at trickery with it will have you thinking they’re going one way when they go another in the end.

I forget who sang it (Shakira?) but whoever said “Hips Don’t Lie” told the truth. You look at the hips bc wherever the hips go is where…

Going to McDonald’s *IN THAILAND* is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever read.

I live in Tennessee and haven’t been to a goddamn McDonald’s in almost 12 years.

lmao I smoke a lot of weed so chances we’ve done this before are very good!

hold on, here, sir.

I think he probably just thinks it’s hilarious, especially if Young has talked shit to him in the past.

Nah. Big fan of yours but this isn’t how it works.

I’m sorry, but the “get a new job” line is so tired and useless.

You are a good person. I am THAT guy in my friend group and they always are like, “you’re so over the top on this shit” but it really makes me feel good to know that the server who I just gave $50 tip (on a $37 tab) to is going to shit their pants with happiness.