Fuck you The Killing!

Tucker Carlson only has two emotions:

The AV Club actually cut off the first part of this quote, which makes it very clear that if Carlson was being serious (which he wasn't, but let's play along), this was actually a swipe at Trump's stupidity.

Yep, he pulls this stunt regularly, usually coupling it with trotting out a straw-man to bludgeon his liberal guest with.

Yes, even the HuffPo article is referring to this as a likely joke.

Yes, he is an insufferably smarmy dipshit, but he's consistently so.

No, it isn't. I've watched him periodically since his Crossfire days. There is absolutely no way this wasn't intended to be a joke. He talks this way when he thinks he's being clever.

I'm just going to assume that the AV Club here knows that Carlson was being a snarky jackass and this article is being deliberately dense.

Hell, now the army of the dead can march single file and coordinate pulling a dragon out of the water. It wouldn't surprise me if the walkers were able to train some of them to actually make the chains given they can follow other remedial tasks.

The fact there are additional unreleased photos and they were able to date them based them on the film stock is creepy as fuck.

UFO abductee or wiener kid who got lost during a camping trip?

Plus they played Monopoly. They deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell.

The header image is actually from Jason takes Manhattan. GEEZ. TAG THAT SHIT.

Can murderous summer camp sex romp be one of the parks in a future season of West World?

I've got the low cal Trader Joe's cranberry juice and UV Red ready to go. Let's get rowdy and wild!

Who the hell is watching Unsolved Mysteries episodes from 20 years ago? Except myself of course, who will be taking a vacation day and revisiting my mid 1990s childhood nightmare factory.

He's joined Glenn Beck in cable news/talk radio purgatory. Still technically alive and yelling at things but of marginal importance day-to-day. After that trip on the sliding scale to hell, you end up in the special Keith Olbermann zone of 100% irrelevance beyond an occasional Twitter tantrum.

"At the White House, despite all the warnings from experts about the risk of eye damage, President Donald Trump took off his eclipse glasses and looked directly at the sun."

He got his butt sent off to military boarding school because he's been an insufferable little shit for 67+ years. But yes, he's technically privately educated.

I'm still not sold Trump is intelligent enough to determine what a "political base" even means, so I'm assuming Bannon filled in the gaps for him on this issue.