I'll tell you what you better understand! Next time you see Old Glory riding up that pole, you better sing that anthem, darling! You're lucky you're a chick, or you'd be nothing but a stain on the road and a crewcut. Our founding fathers went to the mat for you, baby!

Yes, but you must dress the occupants up in the costumes from the I am the Walrus video.

Can we pool together $3000 just to stop this creepy shit from transpiring?

When the cops come knocking you should also practice on denying being a murderer too.

The number of unsolicited dick pics exchanged will crash every cell tower in America.

It's right on the nameplate on my office door. Respect the nameplate.

No, see because I'm going to see it twice, so it's 7,000,000,001 X $0, which is equal to a $60,000,000 opening weekend.

"As it stands now, the biggest September opening of all time is Hotel Transylvania 2, which scored a $48 million debut in 2015"

I'm getting the general vibe that a few of you creepers are already well versed in the practice.

Just for that I'm liveblogging clipping my toenails in the daily thread.

KINJA SUCKS COCKS IN HELL!

BOAT PARKING!

Hilariously awful factual mistakes on Simpsons articles or no dice.

Somebody call 911, Ernie the Kinja Tech is holding the AV Club editorial staff hostage and forcing them to type out newswires!

I don't believe SCOTUS has had a bill of attainder ruling in awhile, let's test them to see if a law that a president worth X number of dollars has to pay for his own protection holds up under scrutiny.

I'm not arguing that Trump isn't a clown for this, but the agents themselves probably aren't up in arms since it's business as usual for them. They undoubtedly have first priority from a budget perspective. The overtime rate for their salary and duties is probably ridiculously high, which they've been collecting for 7…

Yeah, but the agents aren't getting charged that. The agents probably aren't seeing any negative consequences directly, they'll only get concerned once the paychecks stop coming in (which they never will since Congress will fix this with an emergency funding allocation well before it gets to the point people stop…

Effectiveness should be compared against his failure to achieve anything else.

I'm sure they are making bank on overtime while escorting his ass around a golf course 5 days a week. There's actually probably a waiting list for the personal protection gig at this point.

Forcing him to lug around his own clubs for 18 holes has to be the southern equivalent of a heart attack while shoveling snow.